Melting ice in Annawadi

Pulitzer Prize winner Katherine Boo eloquently and brilliantly captures what is truly a heartbreaking level of abject poverty in a slum of Mumbai (Annawadi), India in "Behind the Beautiful Forevers: Life, Death, and Hope in a Mumbai Undercity." Boo weaves intimately detailed narratives of a handful of the residents, respectfully revealing the gritty nuances of their day to day existence. Tragic tales juxtaposed against tremendous resiliency and ability to adapt to destructive forces (particularly in regard to inescapable political corruption).

I finished reading this book several hours ago and I'm still struggling with articulating the words to describe my thoughts and feelings about it, nearly speechless. Ever heard human emotions can be narrowed down to seven basic emotions? This is a rare book that will likely trigger all seven for you as it did me: fear, sadness, anger, joy, surprise, disgust, and contempt.

I give this book five stars (and in my estimation, hands down the best work of narrative non-fiction of 2012 thus far!) based on the following factors: 1. Well-written, both in content and with an excellent balance of objectivity as well as articulating the complexities with a humanistic touch. 2. It's a human interest piece that educates without exploitation or self-righteousness. 3.Truthful accounts validated by reliable sources via the documented experiences of residents with notes, video recordings, audiotapes, and photographs. 4.It challenges one's notions on diverse subjects of morality, politics (corruption at its worst), freedom, and loyalty to community vs. individualism/being true to oneself. 5. Despite the tragic subject matter of the book, Katherine Boo subtly reflects the luminous power of the human spirit to live in survival mode and yet experience beauty, hope, and love amidst the worst imaginable living conditions.

"Behind the Beautiful Forevers" reads so much like a work of fiction, I kept having to remind myself "These are REAL people and these disturbing things REALLY did happen...are still happening." I had immense empathy for the "characters" Katherine Boo chronicles. I wanted to reach through the pages and pull them out, take a stand on their behalf...or at the very least, take a stand against injustice with them....to a more safe and peaceful, joyful place.

If you think you have it bad in life, read this book for a brutal awakening that life could be much, much worse. One such example: It's common in the slums to have "jobs" as garbage scavengers, which comes with dangers you can hardly imagine. The most disturbing sentence in the novel: ‎"Where skin broke, maggots got in. Lice colonized hair, gangrene inched up fingers, calves swelled into tree trunks, and Abdul and his younger brothers kept a running wager about which of the scavengers would be the next to die."

A few other powerful quotes which particularly stood out to me:

"Becoming a success in the great, rigged market of the overcity required less effort and intelligence than getting by, day to day, in the slums. The crucial things were luck and the ability to sustain two convictions: that what you were doing wasn't all that wrong, in the scheme of things, and that you weren't all that likely to get caught."

"What was unfolding in Mumbai was unfolding elsewhere, too. In the age of global market capitalism, hopes and grievances were narrowly conceived, which blunted a sense of common predicament. Poor people didn't unite; they competed ferociously amongst themselves for gains as slender as they were provisional. And this undercity strife created only the faintest ripple in the fabric of the society at large. The gates of the rich, occasionally rattled, remained unbreached. The politicians held forth on the middle class. The poor took down one another, and the world's great, unequal cities soldiered on in relative peace." 

Open your mind. Open your heart. Open this book.

Going my own Way

(Photo taken by me, near the Arboretum, Sept. 2011)

For my senior year high school English class, students were required to pick a novel of their choice and then write an analysis paper about it. While I can't recall the various book selections we were given as examples to choose from, I do remember thinking that I did not want to choose a book that everyone else would pick or one that I knew too much about....though if you asked me at the time, I doubt I'd be able to articulate why. As I scanned the page, few options stood out in my mind. Or rather one in particular. My eyes curiously wandered to Herman Hesse's "Siddhartha." "What is this about?" I thought. And so began my discovery of Buddhism and more so, the beginning of my own self-discovery.

I suppose I had started going my own way prior to reading "Siddhartha" senior year, though it wasn't until that moment that it was brought to my awareness that my path in life has always been different than 'everyone else.' And for the first time I realized this was a good thing. It comforted me, inspired me, and pushed me forward. Suddenly being different and apart from the crowd was a strength, a sign of growth and the embodiment of genuine enlightenment.Western religion has never done that for me. Ever.

When times get tough and the road feels lonely, I find myself going back to Eastern philosophy time and again. Buddhism. The Tao Te Ching. The works of the spiritual mystic Osho. The wisdom, compassion, and non-judgmental encouragement of finding one's own way pours into me and through me. The paradox is actually quite hilarious when I think about it, at least for me. So many fearful people blindly following a religious path that really isn't their own, just words of everyone else because...it's easier?! But it's not. The same individuals are fearful of having their own unique perceptions and feelings, especially what choices to make with them. The last thing they want to do is think about them, yet going your own Way is the first step on the path to understanding, freedom, and growth.

Recently, a friend of mine kindly and unexpectedly mailed a book to me. "Path of Compassion: Stories from the Buddha's Life." I'm slowly savoring each chapter like a child comforted by nightly bedtime stories. I feel both alone and not alone reading the courageous journey of Siddhartha, boldly embracing the judgments of loved ones and strangers alike. Most of all, I'm comforted and inspired by his letting go of external pressures of what they want him to say or do (ie, their own agenda) in favor of going his own way...not only for himself, but also for the greater good.

And with this, I am reminded (again) to continue...going my own way.

Recharge the batteries with inspiration

In a world rife with suffering and intolerance, it can sometimes be difficult to identify and appreciate aspects of our lives that are of the more positive and uplifting variety. This is all the more reason to purposely seek this out...to rejuvenate one's inner self with a sense of meaningfulness, courage, hope, and inspiration when it's needed most.

As a mental health therapist who works largely with a population of adults who suffer/have suffered severe brutalities in their lives, it can be even harder for me to incorporate those aforementioned qualities into my personal life. This week in particular is no exception.

I had to (mentally) check in with myself today, as I was starting to notice myself having symptoms of "vicarious trauma" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vicarious_traumatization) after several intense therapy sessions in which clients have talked about surviving something graphic, brutal, and violent (ie, murder, grief/loss over a violent suicide, being a victim of an attempted murder and showing me the scar....the list goes on and on). I sometimes hear the most horrific and disturbing things that it makes the evening news look like a joke, child's play. It's easy to manage when it's sporadic, but when inundated with back to back sessions overflowing with trauma (like this week).....it's way too much. Nurturing my mental and emotional self becomes absolutely critical.

With that said, I have turned to seeking and reflecting on meaningfulness, courage, hope and inspiration. When having overwhelming moments of fear, doubt, exhaustion, and hopelessness....you may find it helpful to ask yourself and reflect upon the following questions (as I have):

What brings meaningfulness to your life? What do you contribute to the world and/or to people you care about?

Who and what inspires you? How so?

What are your passions? How can you utilize your passions in constructive, creative, or even therapeutic ways to heal and propel you forward when you feel like you're "running on empty?"

Who can remind you of your strengths and humanity when you need to recharge? (ie, family members, friends, colleagues, pets)

The "answers" for me this week showed up in various forms:

An amazing feel-good consultation with my colleagues and an outside consultant (we meet twice a month on Wednesday mornings for 90 minutes, yesterday being the first time we consciously took the time to talk about the rewarding and meaningful aspects of our work in this healing profession...felt incredible).

Contemplating seeking a therapist for myself, in part to lighten the load of my own burdens.

Connecting and laughing with a (therapist) friend over dinner and one huge margarita, which included a conversation reminding me of how I was once told I had "moxie" (the highest compliment I've received in my life, along with also being told by a former boss of my "fortitude" he was surprised to discover I have).

Reflecting on the truly good friends in my life, the ones I most treasure and for whose friendships I have utter respect and gratitude.

Being inspired by phenomenal individuals, such as my colleagues (who walk beside me on this bizarre and sometimes lonely helper/healer's journey) or strong women who have grit, moxie, fortitude, determination, compassion, hope, perseverance (as seen in a book I found today at the bookstore, "Run Like a Girl: How Strong Women Make Happy Lives").

Reminding myself that even though I'm terrified of participating in the Warrior Dash (http://warriordash.com/register2011_washington.php) on Saturday, it will be fun and inspiring to experience with two of my colleagues. Something to check off the proverbial bucket list, if you will.

Seeing and/or reading about others who actively pursue their passions in astounding ways, like this person: http://www.readallday.org/blog/

....then engaging in my own passions by writing here/sharing with the world wide web...and logging off to read something inspiring, perhaps even fun and mindless. :)

Michelle Obama speech

I watched the DNC speeches tonight. I don't think I've ever been so engrossed in any kind of politically driven speech before! I can confidently say I am a new fan of Michelle Obama. Wow, what an inspiring speech. Absolutely brilliant. How incredibly refreshing to see a strong, positive hard-working American woman speaking not only with intelligence, but with compassion and encouraging words for people of ALL walks of life. This is something that has been missing from the US system of politics, one that tends to be driven by fear tactics and segregating people by class, race, religion, economic status, ad nauseum infinitum. Cutting the bureaucratic red tape of personal agenda to one of truth and connection takes quite a courageous leap forward and Michelle Obama has done it!

Michelle Obama also got a hearty cheer from me when she gave a positive voice to the importance of addressing mental health in this country, a very near and dear passion close to my heart. I also have newfound respect for her community service endeavors. This woman from Southside Chicago makes me proud to be an American....a strong, hard-working American. Finally, someone who understands the determination and hard work that can come of pursuing one's dream the REAL way....no shortcuts or monetary handouts. She is a role model so many of us can learn from and only hope to emulate through her humanitarian actions and caring service to others.

Ted Kennedy said it best as well when he endorsed Barack Obama tonight by adding that the 'gridlock' needs to be demolished, making way for hope and change.