Certifiable

It takes everything within me sometimes to not go postal on a client. Ironically enough, it wasn't even a SESSION that got me all worked up with irritation and frustration....just a client who came into the clinic at the last minute, about seven minutes before we closed. She is the kind of person that every time I see her, even in passing, she has to make a production out of something. Did I mention she cries ALL the time too? I'm not exaggerating. I literally have nicknamed her as "The Crier", or "The Weeper." Even menopausal women don't cry as often as she does. But that's another story.

Here's what happened today: I'm talking on the phone with Carol about something and the client barrels into my office (uh, boundaries!) and starts yammering away about who knows what. I put my hand up and tell her to hold on a minute(!!) cause I'm on the phone.

I get off the phone a minute later and I tell her I need to reschedule her appointment for November due to a conflict in my schedule/meeting with my supervisor for the original scheduled date. She starts rambling about how she has this appointment with blah, blah, blah (as she's weeping, per usual)and I cut her off to fill out the paperwork for the drug test she's randomly been scheduled to give today. We reschedule the appt and I tell her she needs to leave her bags on the chair because she can't bring them in the bathroom with her. She gets all huffy puffy and whines about how there are people walking by (there was no one in the waiting area, by the way) that could take her stuff. I look at her with the most annoyed look and say "I'm sitting RIGHT HERE"(in front of the chair in my office where her stuff is). She says "I understand but..." as she takes her jacket and covers up her belongings on the chair. I tell her again, "I'm right here!" and she says "You better not leave." I go, "Excuse me?!" as she walks away into the bathroom. ?!?!?!

She then walks back real quick to add that she needs some papers for blah, blah, blah and I cut her off by saying "One thing at a time. You're overwhelming me here." She comes back from the bathroom a few minutes later as I'm finishing putting stuff in my computer. I get up from my chair as she's gathering her belongings so I can collect her urine test.

I ask her where it is. "I put it on your desk."(It was in front of my Kleenex container) I said, "Don't put it on my desk, that's unsanitary!" She huffs and puffs, imitating what I just said. I reiterate to her "It's UNSANITARY." Was this bitch born yesterday? I put the urine in the refrigerator up front and as I walk back towards my office, she's still standing there! I tell her we're done and she can go get her medication. She tells me she's not done, needs blah, blah, blah from me.

"We're closed. What do you need?" I reply, with a very agitated tone of voice. UGH. After she tells me quickly, I direct her to Manuela for payment crap she needs and abruptly walk back to get her chart for the drug test results that she wanted me to make copies of for her. I hand them to her and walk to the back of the clinic to vent to Carol (and the volunteer cat lady, who got a good dose of a job description of a day in the life of a heroin addictions counselor, hehehe).

After she left, I heard she had the audacity to complain to my coworkers that I was "too busy" to help her because I was "on a personal call with a friend" (when I had briefly been talking to Carol on the phone for a minute when she first barreled into my office).

I wait for the day when that woman transfers or needs to be shipped to the looney bin. Then....I will be free. :)