Philosophizing

As you may have noticed, I haven't written on here in awhile. I'm not sure what's going on with me.....lately I feel like I have alot on my mind and no clear way to articulate it or am completely blank on inspirational writing material. It makes me sad too, because I don't feel completely "whole" unless I write. Does that make sense?

Tonight I was chatting with one of my close friends and he commented seemingly out of nowhere that he doesn't like not seeing me write. Another partial reason I've temporarily gotten lost with it is that I don't feel like anyone cares about my writing anymore. There was a time when I felt like knowing I had readers who were interested in my thoughts, ideas, and feelings really drove me further into a passion for it. It's been said that one should do something simply for the sake of doing it and/or for oneself regardless of others. I agree, to an extent. At the same time, that's like telling a painter to paint something that brings out all their inner passion without having the additional pleasure of sharing it, having it be seen and known by others. When I write, it is my way to be seen. How can I be seen if I'm writing to an empty audience? I don't know. I'm getting more and more philosophical for my own good as more years zoom by.

So, here's what I propose...to myself and/or to whomever few people actually read these words across the screen......I cannot promise I'll write every day or something that will be super exciting, thought provokinge, etc. All I can do is promise to seek that which has been hidden for whatever reason, to bring back the creativity in whatever way I can....even if it's in the mundane for now. Thank you for this, Eddie. With that said, here are a few things that have been on my mind the past few days......

Have you ever read a book set in an era and country which you knew nothing about, other than the fictional (and perhaps semi-real) descriptions.....and found yourself utterly intrigued to go there someday to see if it's anything like your imagination? This is how I felt when I finished reading Tolstoy's "Resurrection" yesterday. Russia. Colorful and rich with history, though only bits and pieces of knowledge imparted to me. It never caught my attention....until reading classic Russian literature. Now I'm driven with a curiosity to experience the actual country. Is it anything like the traveling I've done there in my mind?

This happens for me with dreams and fantasies too. Do such people, places, and experiences exist outside of the power of our minds? Is something any less "real" to evoke the deepest of emotions if it's not in the physical realm? It has been said that nothing is quite as powerful as fantasy, that anything more "real" cannot live up to that imaginary expectation. Anything to an extreme is dangerous territory though, I suppose.....both "real" and "imagined." One interesting example.......

Death and dying/grief and loss issues seem to be front and center themes in many of my therapy sessions with clients lately. Each person presents with their own unique narrative and in that way, they are incomparable. I was especially touched by a session I had today, a teen who drew me a picture of this recurring bad dream she has that ultimately gave me the interpretation she is still mourning the loss of a family member she was close to who died of cancer. My client has fears that her own parents will die/be taken away from her. Even though just a dream, she experiences it as something very vivid and real.

Where does reality end and creativity begin for us human beings? How can we blend the two to help us heal/transcend pain, sorrow, and loneliness....instead of adding more to the heaping mess of emotional wounds? This is the philosophical case I'm currently trying to solve.....