As I was taking my morning shower earlier, I was feeling a bit sad as I thought about someone I have grown to care about. One may wonder why I would feel that way, considering my deep feelings. The sadness arises in my feeling of caring for someone whom I feel does not care about me anymore, something I just sense (I'm a very intuitive person, regardless of what someone does or does not say; I just "know"). What is strange about it is that it's not the individual I am most sad about, but not knowing whether to keep caring despite how I feel, or "let go." What do you do when you care more (or at all for that matter) than the other person?
Do you "wait it out" and see if the person changes his/her response towards you, stop paying attention to him/her (in a way, "ignore") or make the decision all on your own to push the individual out of your life altogether? It feels like none of the above seem to be favorable, positive responses for me.....so what's left? Do we as individuals really change that much or is just our feelings that change (how we feel about someone, our motivations, who/what inspires or challenges us at any given moment in time)? How do we keep ourselves from getting caught up in regrets and heartaches....to just live in the moment and courageously live with whatever each day brings (even if it means that particular person disappears from your life the very next day)? It's so easy to fall into expectation, something I still struggle with frequently in my life, no matter how hard I try to be cognizant of the fact and do otherwise.
A friend of mine recently told me that he no longer depends on anyone for his happiness, that he may enjoy someone, but therein lies the difference.......enjoyment with detachment of expectation. I absolutely agree; I just wish I could totally put this into practice. It reminds me of some old phrase I heard for the first time when I was in high school....something about 'If you love someone (but it's just not working out for whatever reason), let him/her go. If it was meant to be, he/she will come back to you (at some point).' Maybe it's the part about the person not returning that is too difficult for me to fathom at the moment, but perhaps it's time.....
4 comments:
I think we beat this one into the ground yesterday :)
We sure did! Thanks for humoring me with your input and emotional support. Love ya! :)
The little bird thing is one in a million. I've let go and waited but nothing happened. But I'm like you, I still keep her in my life in a small way. I can't seem to let go.
But on the flip side the girl I'm dating now let me go and I came back a year later. Now we are very happy.
You do need to realize the root of human suffering is not sin, but our confusion about ego. You are hurting yourself by hanging on. I say move on. He is not suffering, why should you?
How do you let go? I'm not sure yet, better ask someone else.
Very true Sebastian (about the ego). This is something I've really been working on lately.... letting go of ego in favor of a more humble, simple existence. And you are right, it's bothering me more than the other person. Why give ANYONE that much power as to my sense of joyfulness in life? I think letting go will be a slow process, just like most changes one tends to make...and that's ok. I'm getting there. Thanks for your input.
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