Eyes

It has been said that eyes are the 'window to the soul', but why is that? Why not our smiles, our laughter, our words, our touch? Why the eyes? Does the eye serve as a sort of mirror into our inner world?

When we look into someone's eyes and vice versa, we have the capacity to exchange a deeper acknowledgment and understanding of what it is to be "known." I look into a baby's eyes, filled with such wonder and fascination of the world around him/her. Babies seem to intuitively sense the joy or despair of the person they are looking at. When I am joyful, smile and make eye contact with a baby, their eyes lock on me. Sometimes there is a smile, sometimes it is just the eyes that speak to me. Regardless, I feel a connection in that moment of pure joy and innocence.

When I am socializing in an energetic atmosphere in a crowd of faces and lock eyes with a stranger, something has happened. I may not understand it, but it's there in the eyes. A gaze can be strong and long-lasting. It can also be fleeting, maybe out of apprehension or confusion. What determines our comfort level when we look at or 'into' each other? If one is comfortable and at ease, is that a good thing or is better to have slight anxiety, to up the ante with intimacy? If we look too long, it becomes 'staring.' This can provoke a creepy, threatening, nervous, or annoying response from the one being looked at. If we avoid eye contact (partially or totally), we can run the risk of becoming rude, insecure, seemingly bored/uninterested, self-absorbed.

But it also behooves us to be mindful of eye contact with others, as it can tell us alot about ourselves and the other person. In counseling sessions, I feel like I can sense the lies from the truth based on the individual's eye contact (or lack thereof) as they are talking to me. I can also see sadness, pain, joy, and excitement in their eyes.

When I am interested in a guy and there is mutual eye contact as we talk and get to know each other, it sometimes freaks me out....the fear of what he might see...or maybe what he won't? And I know I'm not alone here. Many people crave, yet simultaneously shun intimacy. Anxiety of 'being seen' can be related to one's confidence level, but not always. What we see when we really LOOK at/into each other can remind us of the person we are, the person we used to be, the person we'd like to be. The other person may also invoke feelings within ourselves that we may not understand....wonderful or not so wonderful. Conversely, we may be left wondering what the other person is experiencing in that same moment...also being looked at/into!

I wonder what life would be like in this world if everyone could only communicate with each other through the eyes and nonverbal expressions, no words. Would we understand and really know each other better? Would our feelings be stronger and conveyed more honestly, more intimately?