Writing this blog will probably stir more questions than answers, but I'm going to write about it nonetheless since it's an interesting topic on my mind today.What is the statute of limitations on shame, remorse, and forgiveness vs. forget on something most people would consider morally wrong? Does it depend on whether the heinous actions have affected a small scale or a large scale of humanity? (ie, "a threat to one is a threat to all mentality)
If someone has put in the sincere and honest effort towards behavioral rehabilitation and overall positive changes within oneself, is that what should be the determining factor? How do we really know for sure if he/she IS honest and sincere? And is it really up to us humans to decide or that of one's personal god(s), karma, spirituality and/or ethics,etc. specific to the individual who has committed the morally reprehensible crime? Do we give someone the benefit of the doubt or do we never trust them (or at least quite the same) again?
Here's what made me think of all this.....
The past few years I have been working with a man who has been consistently sober, but continues to struggle with a bad choice he made under the influence of drugs: sexually molesting a minor, hence permanently deeming him with the scarlet letter of 'Sex Offender,' a virtual lifelong 'prison sentence' if you will.
As I have talked with him extensively about it over the course of the past two years, I know that he has successfully completed his time in prison, including a 6 month rehabilitation program while there. His treatment in prison consisted of 'shaming,' a cognitive-behavioral interventions that has the offender write down the offense committed on a chalkboard for all to see. The offender must then ACT OUT what he did in front of treatment therapists and other fellow sexual offenders in a group setting.
I have learned quite a bit about the thoughts and feelings experienced by a recovering sex offender by frequently talking candidly and in depth with this individual about it. While I do not know for sure if he has reoffended (because I only know what he's like in our sessions), my overall intuition gives me a strong feeling that he has honestly rehabilitated himself. Perhaps he represents a small percentage of nonrecidivism, I don't know, but this is such a difficult issue to address in society. A cut and dry solution doesn't seem like a solution.
How does one balance the overall concern for the community without alienating the constitutional rights of the individual...especially if he/she hasn't given justifiable reason to be treated as if still committing crimes?
I asked him if he thinks he will ever reach a point in his life where he won't be reminded every day of this one particular bad decision he made and commended him for his strength to cope with such judgment and harrassment from various sectors in the community (ie, he receives harrassing phone calls once a week from an unknown caller, forcing him to have the number blocked,etc). He told me that he hopes one day he will not have to be reminded of it and that it helps having people (like me) who support him through his continual treatment services.
It truly is a Catch 22. I'm not one to condone when a 'wrong' has been done, but at the same time, if someone shows true remorse and a willingness to change, who are we to say he/she cannot be a different person and make choices that will be more positive? Hmmmm. All I know is that I don't ever want to become so pessimistic that I feel myself giving up on the virtues of humanity. On the other hand, I don't want to be nieve either.
Keeping a fine balance between compassion and judgment is one of the hardest things to do....
6 comments:
So it sound like this man is living in world of constant punishment. The human in me says he probably received enough punishment while in prison. It's an ugly life for sex offenders in there.
Why do we have to know who previous sex offenders are after they are released? I guess the state does not have enough confidence in their rehab programs. It's just a weak knee solution for those in society afraid of a media created "predator." I do not think it is fair to the person trying to straighten out their live.
I am being taught killing is NOT an alternative, to anything. But in a police state such as we pretend not to be he should have been executed on conviction. This would end his long suffering and future worries of him not being able to change.
But I guess the state will not do that. They don't want the bad press plus it gives you a job, Katie. Win win!
Hmm... what if they held him in prison until the victim became an adult and then let that person decide his fate. Just a thought.
Katie,
I've often struggled with this question myself, but more from a theological perspective.
We could continually ask ourselves what is more humane? Should this person, obviously tortured from his own guilt and shame be given the death penalty to release him from the pain that he relives over and over? Reliving pain though is not truly rehabilitation, though it may be a outward sign of it.
I abhor the death penalty and I believe it is an abuse of authority? At the same time, I abhor sucidie and athanasia. THat is not to say I say such people who choose to do this are not in great psychological pain. But I would posit that the time given to them in prison or in a psychiatric ward is a time of repentance given by God for a chance at renewal of this life and to progress in the virtues becoming as much like God as this life allows. For we are told that God does not desire with desire the death of the sinner but that he should return and live and repent.
I know my theological views are not exactly popular nor are they necessarily easily practiced, but perhaps the repentance angle, which seems left out of a lot of rehabilitation, especially in prison, could perhaps work wonders with some of these people.
Just mho.
I'm very open-minded and really enjoy hearing the thoughts/perspectives of others.
It always adds to the bigger picture of the topic I've written about. Thank you for contributing with your comments guys!
Palo,
that is a good point. It is not my religion but it makes sense. If we kill this person then it is, allegedly, for the good of the people. But is does the poor bastard no good, now does it? And thinking we are better than the next person is delusional and ego driven.
I'm curious, what exactly does repentance mean in your religion? What does it entail? Thanks
Sebastian,
I will answer your question to the best of my ability. Please keep in mind however, that I am no official spokesperson and my response here should in no way be the standard for all who are part of the communion to which I belong.
Let me first state that I am an Antiochian Orthodox Christian. This includes other groups such as Russian Orthodox or Greek Orthodox. We are part of the communion of Eastern Orthodox churches throughout the world. There are about 250,000,000 of us. Our pedigree takes us back all the way to the apostles and we believe that what we teach, preach and pray is the unaltered teachings Christ Himself gave to the apostles 2000 years ago.
Ok, having said that, let me address your question. Repentance in Greek is "Metanoia" which, literally, means a change of mind. Repentance is not a legalistic set of rules that you have to pay a punishment for when you break a commandment (no matter how small or how large). That is what, unfortunately, Roman Catholicism has fell into in the past 500+ years. For the Orthodox, repentance is a true changing of self, to reduce or to slay the egoism which bars us from not only true communion with God but from true communion with each other. We cannot have one without the other.
Repentance thus is not simply paying a fine. We constantly preach in this question about rehabilitation. For child molesters, for example, we want to rehabilitate them to the point that they will harm no more children and that should be the way we go about it. But prison itself and the death penalty will do nothing for that change of self. Those will only mask the symptoms and the rest of us go on with our lives as if nothing had happened or has been lost.
It's very easy (and I find myself doing this too) to say to a murderer "give 'em the chair!" We have become too punihsment driven in this society. I teach for a living and I can tell you that no matter how many SAturday schools I assign or detentions or what have you, the student will break the same rules. It's because punishment is no longer feared; it's craved. How do we reduce the craving? By focussing on the change of the self.
This is a cultural problem. Our rugged individualism invites punishment for its own sake simply to make us unique or to solidify that we are unique. Unless we return to a more communal sort of living (and I'm not advocating communism or socialism; I'm a true capitalist!) where we extinguish ourselves, we will concentrate on punishment simply because it reinforces the individualsim.
I may be completely wrong with this. Repentance is a very, very, very hard thing. I go to confession a lot and I promise a lot to "go forth and sin no more" as Christ told the adulterous woman. But I find myself back where I am. I am thankful that God has not destroyed me in my sins. And if I'm truly to have communion with him who will not destroy me for what I have done, I must also have communion with those who have done wrong and thus give them the chance to rehabilitate and repent. But who should measure that? A question for another day.
Hope that gives you some insight.
Later
Wow, what a wonderful response Palo. It's great to see my blog has facilitated such interesting ideas/conversation. I love reading what others have to say just as much as I love writing a blog in and of itself! Thanks for the interesting food for thought! ~K.
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