I'm feeling deja vu, waking up at the crack of dawn again like old times....though at least this time it's 5am and only for today, my first day of the new full-time job. I have orientation with HR and some psych program training at the agency's main location from 8am to noon-ish, then I have to go to the location where I'll work to do whatever else (no clue yet) for the remainder of the day.
I hope I make it through the day with enough energy and pizazzz (I just felt like using the word 'pizazz'). I didn't sleep much last night with the heat/no AC in the house, plus my pre-work jitters.
Interestingly, I do recall having a dream last night that I was in this really big building. I walked into this room that looked like a library or student center, like it was a college campus. There were escalators and stairs below me and what frightened me about them was that they were very steep....to go down. One might think climbing DOWN stairs would be easier than climbing up, but not so much. I was trying to hold on to the side of the wall in order to guide myself to start climbing down on the steep steps in order not to fall. What annoyed me was that in front of the stairs ahead of me, I see someone on an escalator...effortlessly of course. I wondered how the hell they got to the escalator and wished I knew where to get on/off. Instead, I had to deal with the stairs and no one else was around. I was the only one on the stairs, totally isolated.
I also remember dreaming about an old client of mine, this guy who had started to get clean and sober a few months before I left Chicago for Washington (in 'real life'). In the dream, I saw him and asked him how he was doing. He looked well and I was so happy for him. It also made me feel good that I partially helped get him to that point in his life. I have been feeling a little nervous about my new job, so in a weird way, this little dream tidbit gave me a slight comforting assurance that my work jitters will likely subside once I get acclimated.
Well, gotta get going. More about my first day later.....
1 comment:
Hey, Katie,
Your dream regarding the steepness of the stairs and escalators is fascinating to me. You say that it would be difficult to go down them. Would you allow me to posit an alternative explanation?
The stairs are steep and thus one misstep allows you to traverse the distance quite easily. It's always easy to make a descent since it requires less energy and, in this case, a whole lot less energy. But with the steps/escalators going up, there is safety and there is a sense of purpose. It still requires energy, but the gain is all the sweeter.
With your life as it is now, you are taking the steps up becuase you have been going down the other ones for a little while now. ANd that's fine. We must fall before we can arise. The Phoenix must destroy itself before being reborn. Such is life as well. You have made your descents and you're worried that the stairs will only cause more but you're on the up path now. Things are settling into place but you have the control.
THere's a little Freudian psychoanalysis for you. SInce you are a therapist, know you'd appreciate it. Maybe I should go full time into dream analysis and have people pay me to do it! Nah.
Talk later.
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