Rain's serenity

It has been raining off and on since late this afternoon. I might not feel the same way if I were outside out and about, but being at home while it's raining feels like being enveloped by maternal safety and comfort. I'm in a virtual rainforest. One night last week I enjoyed listening to the steady rainfall so much that I even went to bed without my earplugs (which I normally put in every night to block out external noise) because I wanted to fall asleep to the sound of rainfall. It was wonderful. It's weird too because I don't feel this way every time it rains. Maybe it's just those times when I'm feeling anxious that I appreciate it. In a weird way, it's like nature giving me a hug or something. I know, funny analogy.

Today, for instance....I was feeling overwhelmed thinking of all my responsibilities and demands others have of me, while also wondering how I can take care of myself in the midst of it all. I wasn't stressed out per se, just in deep thought. After completing things that needed to get done today, it began to drizzle. I decided to watch more of my Season One DVD of "Felicity," which I started last night. I was feeling nostalgic as I watched it, happy and sad at the same time. I remembered how much I loved watching the show in college (reminding me of my days at SWT, I cooking dinner and Nicole baking her famous chocolate chip cookies when we had our cooking/baking hangout nights and lots of other memories). I still feel myself identifying with the main character Felicity Porter, even watching the show many years later. As I watched four episodes, the rain poured down harder. I became more relaxed, quiet, and calm.

A few friends called me today and I felt a little bad for not calling them back to talk, but I just didn't feel like talking at all. Sometimes enjoying the silence takes precedence. Partaking in conversation deadens the power of rain's serenity somehow when in such a state of mind. I must admit, I also got a bit sleepy as I finished the last 10 pages of a book I was reading due to the effects of listening to the rain. I had a brief IM conversation with two friends on Facebook, the extent of any 'conversation' I had today. I then made some Indian food for dinner and poured myself a glass of Yellowtail Shiraz wine (one of my favorites that I haven't had in awhile) and here I sit writing this now.

I will be curious to see how I will feel about Seattle rainfall once fall (when it rains most frequently here) arrives. Last week one of my coworkers was saying that in October, she finds the rain makes her 'hibernate' at first and then after awhile she just gets used to it. I think I was the same way during Chicago's coldest times of winter, though I don't think I can say I ever really 'got used to it.' Hibernating has its perks though, I suppose. We'll see.

For now, the rain is mostly my serenity.