Back to back, eyes to eyes

In class today, my professor had all of us do a very revealing exercise. I'm still thinking about the meaning...

He chose a partner for each student and told us it wasn't a sitting exercise. Everyone had to stand in front of their partner (there are about 30 students total in my class). My partner was a guy named Kyle, someone I've only seen in class once or twice....basically a stranger to me. I know nothing about the guy. I didn't even know his name until we briefly exchanged a "Hi, my name is...." with one another as we stood facing each other before the prof gave us further instructions. We were told to turn around and lean against our partner, so that our backs touched.

"Close your eyes. Pay attention to what's going on....are you comfortable in the position you're in? Notice how you both respond to each other/how it feels..."

(At first, I noticed I wasn't leaning as closely as I could....standing more upright, slightly distant from his body. But then, as the prof mentioned being comfortable...I noticed I wasn't and shifted to a more comfortable position. I became more at ease and actually liked the feeling of my partner and I 'supporting' each other in this leaning posture. I could also sense him breathing in and out, the warmth in the space between our backs. I know that probably sounds weird...and it was, but it was also nice).

This went on for maybe 2 minutes, our eyes closed the whole time.

The prof then said "When I say 'now,' I want you to turn around and make eye contact with each other for at least 40 to 60% of the time. "Now."

My partner and I turn around, standing with maybe about 3 feet between us. We make eye contact. I'm looking into his eyes, he into mine. The first 10 seconds was attainable for me, no problem. Any longer than that (consistently) became difficult for me. I felt uncomfortable, like I was being intrusive. I had to look away a few times, smiled and almost laughed. Or if I stared into his eyes, after the 10 second-ish mark I found myself looking at some other part of his face like a freckle or two below his brown eyes. This exercise lasted a minute or two, but felt like eternity....like we just looked deep into each other's private psyches or something. After it was over, Kyle said to me "Thank you for that." He said it in such a neutral way, however, that it was hard to tell whether he was joking or serious. I honestly couldn't tell....hence, I said nothing in response. (I thought he did better at the eye thing than I did. I'm not sure whether he was uncomfortable or not....but it didn't seem like it!)

The prof then had us sit back down and have a class discussion about the thoughts and feelings we experienced while doing the exercise with our partner. It was interesting to listen to diverse perceptions across the board. One woman said that she had actually done this exercise before for some Tantric class and that the eyes part of the exercise actually made either she (or her partner, I can't remember which) cry. Another student said he just found himself going through the motions of the exercise simply because he was instructed to do so, nothing more.

Many people seemed to feel some kind of positive energy (even 'communication' via responding to partner's body language) while doing the back part....and mixed feelings while looking into their partner's eyes. I was actually quite surprised by the fact that some people felt comfortable with the eyes part. Or maybe I just wished I was one of them. I told my prof that I felt like I was being intrusive while looking into my partner's eyes (to which my partner agreed by saying "It was intruding," but said it in a neutral tone and did not elaborate on his experience other than that). My instructor asked if I normally have a hard time making eye contact with people. "No, not at all. It was the length of time that made me uncomfortable..."

It started to make me wonder if I have some issues with intimacy, or more specifically....made me wonder if my level of discomfort is average or below average that of what is considered a 'normal' level of anxiety in regard to this kind of 'revealing' type of communication.

I remember learning some interesting things about nonverbal communication in a speech class I took during my undergrad college days....that 75% of what we communicate to others is through our body language. Eye contact norms vary depending on the culture. In the U.S., I think the average person can only sustain eye contact with another person for about 4-10 seconds before it tends to get uncomfortable/cause anxiety in one or both individuals. So maybe it doesn't have to do with intimacy (at least not totally), but going against the grain of cultural norms?

In any case, it was a cool learning experience in regard to nonverbal communication with a complete stranger. Would it be drastically different with someone I already know well (and/or that knows me well)? Easier? Scarier? More comfortable or less comfortable? What if it were a lover as opposed to a friend? A coworker as opposed to a family member? Someone I don't like much as a person?

Furthermore, is the response even dictated by relationship (or lack thereof)?