Feel first...rationalize later?

I thought it only fair to rave about a book that blew my mind out of the water after having written about one that did little to move me (see last blog entry).

At first glance, this book looked interesting...but I had no idea it would enthrall my intellect as much as it did, particularly in the second and third parts of the book. Ever wonder where our perceptions of "right" and "wrong" come from...really come from? Ever wonder why individuals lean a particular way in regards to politics and religion, specifically the qualities an individual values depending on whether Liberal or Conservative, religious vs. atheist?

This book succinctly explains the foundations of what is known as moral psychology. As an avid reader and someone whom reads a wide range of books on the psychology genre, I was excited to read something original and thought provoking.

What I appreciate most about the book is that it is written from a place of scientific inquiry and curiosity. With an open-minded attitude, Jonathan Haidt takes readers of all walks of life (Liberal, Conservative, religious, and non-religious alike) on a journey to challenge notions of both their own and others' beliefs. Kudos, Haidt. I didn't think that was possible. Haha! In a society inundated with negativity and judgment, "The Righteous Mind" is a breath of fresh air. It pushes aside the emotions and lures in the reader to utilize critical thinking....interestingly, the opposite of what Haidt suggests we humans normally do (ie, "Intuitions Come First, Strategic Reasoning Second").

When asked why something is wrong, people typically respond from their emotional reactions ("I don't know why it's wrong...it just is") and struggle to give logical arguments. Something may be repulsive or disgust you, but is it necessarily wrong? What makes it so? Haidt explains in detail how our minds are comprised of 'riders' and 'elephants' that dictate the intricate complexities of moral psychology. Fascinating!

The chapter on "The Moral Foundations of Politics" gave me many "aha!" moments, things I have wondered about for years and made absolute sense after reading the psychological reasoning/analysis behind liberal vs. conservative mindsets. Haidt discusses the foundations of Care/Harm, Fairness/Cheating, Loyalty/Betrayal, Authority/Subversion, and Sanctity/Degradation. Similarly, "The Hive Switch," "Religion is a Team Sport," and "Can't We All Disagree More Constructively?" provided much food for thought.

 Every American could benefit from reading this book, especially politicians themselves. Just thinking about the paradigm shift that could happen if the majority of this country read this book is blowing my mind. In short, if this book doesn't blow your mind I might think there is something wrong with you. Just kidding.

Fifty Shades of Bad Writing

At the recommendation of a friend, I reluctantly decided to read the new "erotic romance" novel Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James. I say 'reluctantly' because I noticed very polarized reviews from readers on GoodReads. People either seemed to give it 4-5 stars, or 1-2 stars. Based on the reviews and knowing what books or genres I tend to like the most, I was predicting it would be a 3 star read for me. It certainly started out that way in the beginning...but not in the end.

The author introduces us to the main characters Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey, two individuals who couldn't be any different from each other...the whole "opposites attract" scenario. But whatever, I'll go with it. I liked that it was set in Seattle, though the only place really mentioned was the touristy area of Pike Place Market and occasional drives on the infamous interstate 5. Apparently the author lives in London, so I'll give her a bit of a break for not using less stereotypical locations in the city....but I show no mercy for her regarding anything else in this farce of a novel.

Admittedly, I liked the novel for about the first 200 pages when it seemed to be leading somewhere. Or I was at least more willing to overlook the things I did not like about it, especially given it's the author's first novel. Of course it won't be flawless; I understand that. Around 350 (of a total of 514) pages in though, I was annoyed with every page.

I really wanted to like this novel, but it fell incredibly short on all levels. Where do I even begin?

1. The author is trying too hard to make the novel a heady mix of romance and erotica with BDSM elements to it. Um....those three don't tend to go together. Anyone that knows the psychology of human sexual behavior should know that. No wonder Anastasia was confused by Christian Grey's behavior. Hell, I the reader was confused by his behavior. No heterosexual male in the real world would say flowery things to a woman one minute (if at all!), followed by kinky shit, then boyfriend/significant other talk the next. And when Christian is confused about his commitment issues, he blames it on his early upbringing. "My mom was a crack whore." Really? Really?! You can't get more inventive than that stereotype, Ms. James? So lame.

2. It also annoyed me that these characters could never make up their minds. It made them very unlikeable. Early on, Christian makes a sexual contract that he asks Ana to read thoroughly and sign if she wants to willingly participate in the various sexual practices. Throughout the novel, she is wishy washy about whether she wants to abide by the 'rules' of the contract yet the contract is pointless because she has her sexual free for all with him anyway. I'm pretty sure this would never fly in the real world of the BDSM community where honesty and clear decision making is paramount to participate in these acts.

3. The author's use of vocabulary is redundant and insipid. As at least one other reviewer has noted, the same phrases are annoyingly used over and over and over again. If I had to drink alcohol every time I read "I flush" or "my inner goddess" or even "holy crap/holy smokes/holy cow," I'd be intoxicated within minutes. For a subject (an attempt at the topic of BDSM anyway) that requires confidence, a certain level of fearlessness, and lack of inhibitions, the writing was prudish and juvenile. She maybe used the word 'clitoris' two or three times in the 514 pages. Otherwise, it was 'my sex' or 'down there.' Really? If you can't say it, you shouldn't be writing any book about erotica, romance, or porn.

4. Poor character development and terrible plot. The beginning of the book had some promise, as it seemed to be building up to something. The reader is introduced to a handful of other characters that made the story a little well-rounded and believeable. Once the focus shifts solely on Anastasia and Christian, however, all character development (including that of Ana and Christian) stagnates. I kept waiting for the big reveal from Christian why he was 'fifty shades of fucked up.' Other than his big 'secret' that his biological mom was a 'crack whore,' the author left much to be desired. The second half of the book also had no flow to it....nothing but one poorly contrived sex scene after another.

5. How is this a bestseller and how did this manage to become a series? This book did not turn me on and I will not be reading the other two.

I've never written such a critical review of any book before, which speaks volumes given that I'm an avid and open-minded reader. I just can't get over how a book can be so terrible and yet loved by so many women that are giving it 4 or 5 stars. Sad.

Ladies, if you want erotica of real substance and intelligent writing....read Anais Nin's work, particularly Henry and June. Hot. If you want novels with a more accurate portrayal of BDSM, look to your local BDSM community for the best recommendations. Or better yet, check out the works of the Marquis de Sade. But be forewarned, it's not for the squeamish or the faint of heart. If you want your fix of 'unrealistic romance fantasy,' stick with Harlequin?

As for Fifty Shades (of Bad Writing), it's one of the few books that is deserving of the 1 star I have given it. God help us everyone when they make this novel into a movie. And may Ryan Gosling be the one to save us in our turned off state of mind.

FIRST, Seat 5F

I'm far from being rich. My profession isn't one that offers opportunities for 'traveling on business' either. Last night I had the pure luck to be selected for a seat in first class, a direct flight from Chicago to Seattle (on standby status, no less!). Exciting and surreal all at once. It's strange (and sad actually) how much different you get treated when you sit in this area of the plane. I knew the service would be luxurious compared to my usual flying in coach, but even so I still found myself astounded by all they do for people in first class. The only thing missing was someone to fan me and give me a foot massage. Perhaps I shouldn't hold my breath. Maybe they already do this on international flights?

LEG. ROOM. I was comfortable the entire time....sitting on a leather seat. There was a 'recliner' option but I never used it because I was so comfortable already and had no intention of sleeping during this once in a lifetime first class flying experience. There's only 2 seats per row, so there was only one person (a man who looked to be in his 50's or 60's) sitting beside me. There's also a mini table between the seats, so you can put your drinks on that if you don't feel like putting it on the pull-out tray.

Within minutes of the flight taking off, the flight attendant comes around with tongs and a plate of steamy warm damp washcloths. Now until that point, I had been pretty excited about what that part of the first class experience would be like. When I was actually handed one, however, I felt silly with it. I started to pat my chin with it and felt incredibly pretentious, as if I just did some really hard and sweaty labor.....when really I'm just sitting on this really comfy chair in temporary heaven. I opted for "washing" my hands with it, especially since I'd be eating.

Shortly thereafter, the flight attendants working in first class (two!) asked for drink orders. At that point, I really wanted to order an alcoholic beverage (because I didn't have to pay for it!), but I had no idea if I had to wait for that kind of drink until later so I ordered a ginger ale. The man beside me ordered a gin and tonic so I realized I could have ordered alcohol right away. My ginger ale arrives in a glass, not one of those rinky dink plastic cups. Turns out there's no plasticware in first class! WARM mixed nuts are served in a tiny ceramic bowl for starters. There were tons of nuts in it...I didn't even finish half of it.

15-20 minutes later, I'm asked "Are you hungry (for dinner)?" Oh my. I can't remember the last time I ate a meal on a plane...probably in the 1980's. I'm asked if I want a lemon pepper chicken with vegetables or ricotta shells with a sun dried tomato sauce. I go with the pasta. At this point, I'm trying to figure out where the tray is located and feel dumb for having to ask, as clearly I seem to be the only virgin first class passenger. haha. I break down and ask. FYI...if you ever have the opportunity to get on a first class flight, the tray is in the arm rest. Pull that baby up and it comes out (you have to unfold it once to put it in front of you).

Get this: They bring out a long cloth to cover your tray (like a tablecloth for trays!!) and also have the same cloth on the actual tray of food they bring to you. It's insane! I felt like I was in a movie. I got real silverware and was served food on real dishes. I was offered a bread roll with my overflow of food which consisted of the following: 4 pieces of shrimp cocktail and cocktail sauce, a small salad (only thing I took a few bites of...it was kinda gross), and the pasta shells. At that point, I went in for the alcohol. There was a small empty wine glass on my tray. Perfect opportunity....I ask for some wine. The flight attendant tells me he has cabernet. "Am I really staring out this window and looking at a lovely sunset while sipping wine?" I thought.

One thing I noticed as I got waited on left and right was a lack of manners from fellow passengers. I was all 'please' and 'thank you,' but the man didn't seem to utter such words. He wasn't rude, but he didn't seem appreciative either. Maybe he's just used to it and flies nothing but first class. All I know is that if I ever became rich, I would still be polite and appreciative of people doing such things for me. I wouldn't become snooty or take it for granted.

5 minutes after dinner I was approached with, "Do you have room for dessert?" Ah, yes please! I got a small glass filled with a big scoop of vanilla/apple cinnamon spiced ice cream with what looked like either a few sprinklings of oatmeal on top. I couldn't even finish the whole thing because I was so full from all the other food and drinks.

It was quiet in first class the whole flight, which I loved as well. I read several pages of "Fifty Shades of Grey" post food coma. This secretly amused me. Here I am flying in first class reading a kinky erotic novel and no one knows it but me. And no, I did not initiate myself into the mile high club...though that would definitely make for a juicier story. About 10 minutes before we land, I partake in a mint that we're offered.

All in all, best. flight. ever. I think next time (listen to me, "next time") I'll pass on the pretentious washcloth though. I'm more of a moist towelette from a plastic wrapper kinda gal.