Communication. Simple enough concept, right? Or is it? What is "normal" communication these days and does "normal" necessarily carry a positive connotation? It may not be "negative" either, but at the most...that of indifference. This past week I have thought about all the various relationships I have with people....family, friends, acquaintances, and potential dating possibilities. I thought about how many people I actually see in person or talk to on the phone on a regular or even semi-regular basis. The percentage was pretty low when I thought about it....sad? Most people in my life I communicate with via email and/or text messages. Ironic, considering I communicate with others in a more interpersonal way in my line of work....and the fact that some of the people I don't talk to on the phone are more easily accessible, not living far from me in physical distance. I have noticed that I, like many people I have observed lately, have become an internet and text message junkie.
Over the course of the past six to nine months, I have been sending and receiving a constant influx of text messages. Prior to last year, I don't think I really knew much about texting, or just didn't utilize that feature on my cell phone. I've been into writing (letters and emails) for years now, most notably since my undergrad college years, so that isn't a new behavior for me. What I don't understand is, how has text messaging and emails become more of a cultural norm these days than talking to someone on the phone? I realize there are some pros to text messages....if you need to ask someone a question, but don't want to bother them, it's more convenient to write a quick message or tell someone "hello". Even say something funny to make the other person laugh. But how much is TOO much? Must we text for EVERYTHING?The other day I was riding on the train and as I looked around, there were at least two or three people in front of me who appeared to be typing out text messages.
Does this form of communication help or hinder us in relationships? Is it a complement to an already meaningful relationship or has it become an unhealthy supplement of "false" connection between two people? Is having a conversation becoming a lost art to "chatting"? Why don't we talk to each other anymore? Even a majority of businesses have robotic voice options when you're trying to reach a human being through "customer service." I don't know about you, but how many times have you gone through the myriad of "press 1 for this, 2 for that" only to say to yourself aloud, "Can I talk to a person?!" Funnier still is that in an age where even children and teenagers tend to have their own cell phone, how many people across the board of different age groups are having conversations on the phone? Again, most times when I am sitting on the bus or train and have the "pleasure" of listening to someone gab, gab, gab on their cell phone, it sounds more like noise pollution to the passengers around the person than something worthwhile.
Yes, I suppose text messages and emails are "better than nothing," a little extra something to maintain a certain degree of "connecting" with each other, however, maybe we need to set our standards higher and put more effort into our communication patterns for the sake of a particular relationship. Just because we live in a society of morphing cultural norms doesn't mean we need to totally morph ourselves with it.
Without seeing and hearing each other through the visual and auditory senses, we are missing out on those wonderful things you can't get in an email or a text message: hearing the person laugh and/or their mood , their nonverbal behavior, their VOICE that makes them unique from a lifeless text message or impersonal email. This is especially true in the dating scene. In this particular situation, it is easy for two people to get mixed signals from one another. It can be confusing enough to figure out "does this person really like me, especially to continue dating me?" without adding in the element of texting to the mix. There has been more than one occasion in which I have wondered if texting was an easy way to not cut off contact with someone completely. You could still be "nice" and yet remain distant enough to be "safe" by sending a text here or there. Type out a sentence and hit 'send.' A one minute emotional and mental "investment" or a cop-out?
We only get as much back as we are putting in to a relationship. Sure, we might have lots of quantity, but what about quality? Are we sacrificing connection for instant gratification? There are very few people I know who don't seem to fall prey to this kind of phenomenon, my close friend Rajiv being one of them. I think one of the many things I love so much about him is that he prefers to talk and or see me rather than email and text. I hardly ever send him an email or a text and I can't remember the last time I received any from him either! Speaking as someone who has admitted to a certain degree of internet/text addiction, I'm not sure where to go from here, but I think the first step is awareness. I can only hope to take my friend's lead and become less dependent on the computer age to build and sustain the relationships in my life.
6 comments:
Yeah I enjoy it a lot more to talk on the phone, because I don't get that day brightening giggle on a text message or email. To bad I don't get to hear it more often, but in situations where you can't talk to someone on the phone, text or email is better than nothing.
Definitely. On the bright side, email can be good for long distance friendships where it may not be as easy to talk to someone in another part of the world,etc. I know it has helped me re-connect with my friend Jennie, who is in Germany.
Then again, it was also great to hear her voice on the phone for the first time in 7 years when we talked on the phone last month!Love ya Jennie! :)
some of the communicative effort in communicating through mediums (ie phone, email, im, forums, letters) goes to interfacing with the medium itself.
i just had a lengthy discussion with one of my brothers about the design of human-machine interface. essentially i was arguing that interfaces which, in a mechanical way, mimicked the item to be controlled would be better received than say, a simple touchscreen for all available devices.
but i suppose at the end of the day, as you probably have realized, time spent with the machine (microcomputer, telephone, 2way high frequency radio - cell phone - and so on) is time spent with the machine despite efforts to use it merely as a vessel through which to send chunks of communication
I never have time to talk on the phone anymore. Plus, I'm all tire and beat up by the end of the day and will just be mr. jaded grumpy guy.
So it doesn't look like I'LL be callng you anytime soon then Sebastian?! hehehe. ;)
Wow can you tell how much it has changed even from 2 years ago! It's gotten way worse!
Post a Comment