If you weren't you

I kept thinking about you, that one conversation sinking in my mind as I went through the motions of my day.

I played the what-could-have-beens and what-ifs in my head.

What if you weren't you?

What if all the shitty things that happened to you made you this endearing and perfectly flawed person?

You're the one that pisses me off (but not for long) and drives me crazy (always), the one that appreciates intellectual stimulation, the one with whom I enjoy witty banter, the one who makes me laugh, and you're the one I wish could see yourself as I see you.

Half the time I don't understand you, can't figure you out.

Drawn to your battle scars, made privy to your inner sanctum....

You never bore me. I come back for more, as do you with me...for the same reasons?

And in those moments where I've resigned myself to taking your words at face value, you show that rare softer side.

I like you most when you're raw and real in all your messed up, beautiful glory.

The side you hide is the one that I most want to see, and I savor it like it's a present you've saved just for me....or so I tell myself as I smile and think about all those things you just said.

Things on the precipice of your thoughts, your tongue, your heart. You.

The you I wouldn't know, wouldn't see, wouldn't admire

...if you weren't you.