WiLd

See this movie, see this movie, SEE....THIS....MOVIE! I cannot stop raving about it. Funny thing is I went into the theater with no expectations and little knowledge of what exactly the movie was about. All I knew was that it's based upon a true story (same book title) by Jon Krakuer. I knew it had something to do with someone surviving out in nature, but that's about it. This movie profoundly touched me; I'm almost speechless. Wow. What is it about, you may ask?

What isn't it about?! I don't even know where to begin. I won't go too in depth because I don't want to give away the whole plot, ending,etc....but some of the themes and symbolism presented throughout the movie center around the main character Christopher McCandliss (or aka, self-proclaimed nickname "Alexander Super Tramp") and his quest for a meaningful, courageous, beautiful existence. It's about freedom and beauty. It's about him living his truth, whatever that may be at a given moment on his journey. It's about following one's bliss. It's about exploring the unknown....in all ways (physically/in nature, mentally, emotionally). It's about developing a strong and positive relationship with oneself regardless of others. Truly, overwhelmingly inspiring. I left the theater reflecting on my own life and how it challenged my own current perceptions of things. It also even gave me a crazy yearning to make a goal to pay off my credit card debt and once paid, quit my job in lieu of doing something off the beaten path...even if that just means taking a road trip into the wilderness, a challenging Outward Bound experience, maybe even something Peace-Corps like. It's not the first time I've thought about it, but this movie triggered those feelings in me after them being stagnant from the busy-ness of day-to-day living.

"Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth." ---Henry David Thoreau

These are the words the main character utters to fellow travelers he has met along the open road early on in the movie. Apparently he was always quoting the greats of literature, such as Thoreau, Tolstoy, Jack London,etc. The difference between him and us folks out there who may read something inspiring or deep and be moved by it...is that these philosophical approaches/ideas literally MOVED him to live his life to the fullest. Carpe Diem. Seize the day, he most certainly did!

Although he abandons his family to partake in the new journey and is alone a majority of the time, he seemed to spark more change within himself AND in others (including his parents) by his absence than when he was actually around them prior to the journey. Seem strange? If you think about it though, not really. How much do we take someone/something for granted until he/she/it is suddenly snatched away, gone? Interestingly, McCandless makes a comment to an older man he has befriended. When it's time to part ways, the grandfatherly figure tells him "I'm going to miss you." He responds in likewise fashion, but adds that there is more to one's life happiness than the relationships in our life. I found this to be extremely apropos to me, a reminder to me to take a step back and see the bigger picture of appreciating all life has to offer....which should not be limited to just experiences with people....nature as well. It's about learning things about oneself, exploring the unknown with a wanderlust for adventure! And when he does relate with people he has met along the way, he is totally in the moment with them and almost seems to experience a more authentic rapport in conversation with them because of it. It's like he's "soaking up" each life experience as it presents itself...a constant mindful meditation of sorts and taking risks...hell, even actively seeking the risks to take. That is true courage and freedom if I've ever seen it.

There's a funny part in the movie where he's talking to a guy (Vince Vaughn's character) at a bar, who is questioning his motives for this so-called journey and eventual goal to make it to Alaska. McCandless basically tells him he doesn't like how most people treat one another (and doesn't want to be that way).

"Just what kind of people are you talking about?" Vaughn's character asks.

...."parents, hypocrites, politicians....SOCIETY, SOCIETY, SOCIETY!" he exclaims like a madman. Hahaha, it was great!

Alot of people didn't understand why he made the choice to live as he did....but he didn't care. He was a freethinker, removing himself from what he felt to be societal chains in favor of an uncluttered mind and a chance to 'be' an active participant in his life experiences. Even if others think he is weird, crazy, selfish, even wonder if he's still alive because they haven't heard from him....he commits himself to finding his own way, regardless of the outcome. Astounding.

Paradoxically, he seems to set a living example in the process. He inspires others to question their own choices and live their own truths, whatever it may be for them (like he tells the old guy he doesn't have to stay at home and work in his workshop all day by himself....'get off your butt...start living!'). He plays a role (sometimes unbeknownst to him) in helping strangers/friendly 'roadies' confront their own fears, insecurities, and vulnerabilities. He seemed to live more fully (quality) than some people do in their chronologically long (quantity) lifetime. I am inspired. Did I say that already?!?!

I left the movie wondering about my own life...how I may be holding myself back from living totally. I wonder if I would stop fixating (or less) on relationships in my life and not make them such an important part of my identity if I didn't live in the city....say if I lived in a more desolate, "wild" area.... a place where I'd have the potential to 'empty' my mind on a continual basis....living alone and keeping it simple like this guy. How long could I go just "communing" with myself, being playful and imaginative? Would I miss my family, friends, and a comfortable lifestyle...or would I find my life more powerful and meaningful in such a 'raw' environment?

I am reminded of one of my favorite inspirational greats in the vast field of psychology: Abraham Maslow. I love his idea of self-actualization: "A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be at peace with himself. What a man can be, he must be. This is the need we may call self-actualization ... It refers to man's desire for fulfillment, namely to the tendency for him to become
actually in what he is potentially: to become everything that one
is capable of becoming ..."

McCandless' "Into the Wild" experience? A moving representation of self-actualization.

Watch this movie.

Boundaries

I remember specifically learning and discussing the topic of boundaries when I was in graduate school, but it was more theory than application....as with most psychological things one may learn on an intellectual level vs. in the practical sense. Since I'm all about balance (using intelligence with a great equal dose of common sense!), today I was afforded the opportunity to open this very topic in today's group with my clients...'food for thought.' It was fun to see how it translates in their everyday lives. Carol and I thought it would make for an interesting group topic and it certainly did!

I started off by giving a brief introduction on the definition of an actual boundary (ie, a barrier), whether it be physical (such as a wall, a fence,etc) or psychological in nature (a set of ideas, beliefs, feelings, attitudes that define one's identity individually...and collectively, in couple and/or group settings). I explained that boundaries can take on both negative AND positive connotations, depending on the individual(s) and the situation. For example, according to Family Systems theorist Murray Bowen, people can get caught up in the polarities of enmeshment (getting overly involved) and/or detachment (pretty self-explanatory, but in other words, being distant, aloof, lack of communication/understanding). Of course, living in a world with many shades of gray, neither extreme end of the continuum are all that healthy. In fact, looking at one's boundaries is one aspect family therapists utilize in their "detective work" in helping families work through their "dysfunctional" patterns to something more helpful and cohesive.

The main topic of boundary discussion today involved a very practical reality: parent/child boundaries. One of the clients talked about her own struggle with establishing consistent follow-through/boundaries with her 4 year old son. It was interesting to hear what she had to say...AND the response of another group member who called this woman out on the fact that it sounds like the 4 yr old is just spoiled! Ha. I love it. Most amazingly was the fact that it took someone else pointing it out for the woman to realize and admit the observation is likely true! I love groups; they can be such fun! I gave her feedback on power struggles (if you take away the 'buttons' from the child.....there won't be any buttons to push in the first place!) and facilitated other group members to give their own parental feedback/what has been helpful to them.

We also talked about boundaries in regard to physical and emotional abuse (and how to avoid it) in relationships.

All in all, I was quite pleased and found it to be a great experience. I guess I'm a little biased....happy with the intrinsic rewards of being a therapist and the boundary of positive change.

Is caring sometimes being able to let someone go?

As I was taking my morning shower earlier, I was feeling a bit sad as I thought about someone I have grown to care about. One may wonder why I would feel that way, considering my deep feelings. The sadness arises in my feeling of caring for someone whom I feel does not care about me anymore, something I just sense (I'm a very intuitive person, regardless of what someone does or does not say; I just "know"). What is strange about it is that it's not the individual I am most sad about, but not knowing whether to keep caring despite how I feel, or "let go." What do you do when you care more (or at all for that matter) than the other person?

Do you "wait it out" and see if the person changes his/her response towards you, stop paying attention to him/her (in a way, "ignore") or make the decision all on your own to push the individual out of your life altogether? It feels like none of the above seem to be favorable, positive responses for me.....so what's left? Do we as individuals really change that much or is just our feelings that change (how we feel about someone, our motivations, who/what inspires or challenges us at any given moment in time)? How do we keep ourselves from getting caught up in regrets and heartaches....to just live in the moment and courageously live with whatever each day brings (even if it means that particular person disappears from your life the very next day)? It's so easy to fall into expectation, something I still struggle with frequently in my life, no matter how hard I try to be cognizant of the fact and do otherwise.

A friend of mine recently told me that he no longer depends on anyone for his happiness, that he may enjoy someone, but therein lies the difference.......enjoyment with detachment of expectation. I absolutely agree; I just wish I could totally put this into practice. It reminds me of some old phrase I heard for the first time when I was in high school....something about 'If you love someone (but it's just not working out for whatever reason), let him/her go. If it was meant to be, he/she will come back to you (at some point).' Maybe it's the part about the person not returning that is too difficult for me to fathom at the moment, but perhaps it's time.....

Working with Polish Clients in therapy

I'm not quite sure why, but over the years I have had a particular intriguing fascination with multicultural issues/aspects of people. I think it's because one's differences seem more interesting than similarities, culturally speaking. Funny enough, I went into a seminar on "Working With the Polish Client" expecting to leave with more clinical insights/techniques geared towards counseling with Polish clientele....and left with no more than when I arrived (in that regard). I did, however, enjoy learning more about the historical roots of Poland and the understandable link between addiction and its people.

Presented by a Polish native, the seminar focused on how the social and political climate (particularly 1793-1918 being the worst, as Poland didn't even exist on the map during this time....territorial wars taking place with everyone wanting a "piece" of Poland) contributed to its inhabitants "adapting" to the stress in escapist ways (drugs and alcohol, especially vodka). In the past I remember wondering why many Poles would make a decision to immigrate to the US, of all countries. With all the deep seated mistrust and hopelessness of communist rule, the speaker pointed out that Polish people tend to admire other countries (like America) who fight for freedom and have a more free economy.

Interestingly, as much as I learned about historical stuff from the seminar, I was surprised to discover I already knew a majority of the things discussed from talking about these very specific cultural issues with one of my Polish clients I have been working with since Dec. 2005. A very interesting and intelligent guy, he has educated ME on his culture....by MY asking him questions. While it's great for clients to learn from me/what I can offer them in counseling, I'm also very humbled to say I learn very valuable things from some of them as well.

Who pushes your buttons....and why?

How is it that certain people can easily push our buttons, but then with most people it takes significantly more to send us to that proverbial "breaking point?" Is it because these lucky individuals (note slight sarcasm here!) are the far and few who really know our true selves, therefore we stubbornly resist embracing something "informative" they wish to share with us, well-intentioned or not? Or because they know us so well and likely vice versa....do we question whether they speak/respond out of a particular pattern/"history" of the relationship? And if it's merely a matter of reacting to old patterns instead of taking time to reflect on helpful information from an objective standpoint, how can one get rid of those bothersome buttons in order to remain true to oneself, yet still grow as a person?

These are questions I pondered this morning as I worked through "push button" reactions. You are probably wondering why I picked this particular picture to go with this blog....mainly because I wanted to post a picture of my mom and I, both of us at a younger age (a visual reminder of our chronological relationship "history" past and present)....and this is the only one I could find easily via online. In case you haven't put two and two together yet, my reflective thoughts about pushing buttons is related to someone who knows how to push my buttons quite easily every now and then: my mom.

When I was younger, we were frequently frustrated with one another, possibly because we both have stubborn/independent personalities. Interestingly though, over the years we have grown from having an argumentative relationship to that of a more supportive/friendship based relationship, one I value deeply....which is why it has been a little weird to find myself reverting back to "relating" habits of my childhood days, aka: frustration and annoyance, even if just temporarily.

Until recently, I can't remember the last time I felt annoyed or even pissed off with my mother. As I said, I love and respect her probably more than anyone else in my life. When it comes to particular issues/topics though, I feel like we come from different planets. This specific sensitive subject matter revolves around men/relationships. I'm already sensitive to that area of my life ANYWAY....then to add a well-intentioned mother to the mix who wishes to "help me see the light/error of my ways"....just compounds the whole thing. I won't go indepth to what really pushed my buttons, as my mother addressed various things in an email to me that ruffled my feathers...but here's one small example from aforementioned email.....

I was tempted to remove my last blog entry this morning, as she shared with me her feeling that it came across as me being ego-like, like I was bragging about men finding me attractive,etc. As tends to happen at times with my blogs/when I am open and honest expressing something about myself, someone may misunderstand or maybe they do understand but just don't like it.

My first reaction was that of being misunderstood and slightly annoyed to want to take it down, but then the more I thought about it, I realized...WHO CARES, even if it is my mother who says it! I know the intention of my post (to share an amusing/flattering thing that happened to me....out of confidence, NOT arrogance); that is all that matters. Writing blogs about personal things certainly is a lesson in humility. Call me a glutton for self-punishment (hopefully more like, self-awareness! hahaha).

Open and honest dialogue we have with our parents can most definitely be a double-edged sword...well, speaking for myself anyway. When one is a child, it is alot simpler to see things in a black and white mode. When one hits the adult years however, it's a whole lot murkier shade of gray....an unfamiliar territory that can catch you off guard as to how or why you respond the way you do when "problem solving mode" is front and center. There are times when I'm feeling frustrated, confused, upset about something in my life, times when it's so much easier to wish you could wave a magic wand and be told exactly what to do to solve the problem (I liken this to being a kid and your mom/dad giving you the answer). But then reality hits: I'm not a child....and not only that, I'm a strong-willed independent person. Deep down I like to figure things out for myself, even if that means pain, misery,etc. I have always been this way, even as a child. If I want to do something, I WILL do it. Both of my parents can easily attest to this. What I once considered a stubborn bratty quality within me, I now deem an inner strength.

I'm all about self-improvement, but I also respond better to positive encouragement, not negative reinforcement. I need not be reminded that I may not always take enough risks, I may not always face my fears with absolute boldness, and I certainly do not always make the most healthy/happy choices. I know this already. I guess what irritates me is those every once in awhile moments where you question whether someone sees you as you are in this very moment in time or if due to the "history" of the relationship (mother/daughter, father/daughter, etc), he or she flashes back to remembering how you were at 7, 10, 15, 21 years old, etc etc....and talks to you accordingly to such perceptions. I'm not a parent, so I really don't know the answer to this....but it still makes me wonder. I wish I could snap my fingers and wake up tomorrow with all the difficult issues I have "fixed" or "gone"....but it's not possible.

Interestingly, I am reading a book about misery vs. joy/happiness/bliss that has put things in perspective for me.....the book addresses the old adage "Misery loves company" or basically, misery is the "normal" way of being in society. But what to make of a joyful/blissful person? Bliss seems to be such a rarely observed phenomenon that usually when one witnesses such a person, they may be dubbed as crazy, insane. Remember when Tom Cruise jumped on top of the couch on Oprah back in the day when he professed his love for Katie Holmes? Ok, I have no idea if the guy was on drugs or not. And maybe he is crazy; I don't know him. But maybe he wasn't. Maybe we're just not accustomed to seeing people in such a joyful state.

I was proud of myself this morning, as I came up with a solution to my push button reactions. One of two scenarios can play out in the future: either not talk to her about subjects in which my buttons could be pushed (not likely, hahaha) OR the moment I feel a button is being pushed, remove myself from the feeling and ask myself if I would be so bothered if someone else were to make the same observation and/or well-intentioned suggestion?

Going the objective route may prove to be the best solution....not just for me, but for ALL you button pushers and those being pushed out there.

Psychological pandemonium

Yesterday afternoon while hanging out with my friend Scott, the topic of conversation turned to that of his recently having watched the 1967 classic, "The Graduate," starring Dustin Hoffman and legendary Anne Bancroft. Never having seen this movie myself, I quickly became curious and intrigued to check it out as I listened to him give his personal review of the movie....without giving away the plot and its ending. I believe his exact response to the movie was that of an "emotional break." I was a bit perplexed, as I thought it was just a movie about an older woman and a younger man having a sexual affair. Aside from that, I didn't know there were further layers to the storyline. Scott gave me the curiosity to go rent the movie at Hollywood Video within a few hours of him talking about it, once I got home. Wow, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Looks are deceiving. As my friend described, it is about SO much more than the infamous "Mrs. Robinson." Helluva haunting soundtrack to match too!

Perhaps one of the most psychologically disturbing movie classics of that time period (in my opinion!), I cannot recall feeling so emotionally involved with a psychological movie probably since I watched "A Clockwork Orange" when I was in undergrad college. Granted, not the same kind of movie, but the psychological insanity is quite similar. I could easily write a psychological analysis of the different themes and issues presented throughout the course of the movie. But it sorta still hurts my head thinking about it and I don't want to ruin it for ya if you haven't seen the movie yet. Phenomenal movie though, for sure! Check it out if you haven't already. Share your thoughts and I'll share mine.

Blame it on the ants

I can't resist sharing an amusing thing I heard at work today. One of my oddest characters, er, I mean clients (hahaha) called me around 7am this morning to tell me he wouldn't be able to make his 7:30am counseling appointment. Now, up until today, I always thought the most amusing anecdotes regarding him were when he came in with a plastic glove on his hand from some infection. Or the time he admitted he once stole a cake from Jewel (which then deemed him with the nickname "Cake Stealer" unbeknownst to him), but this one takes the cake...no pun intended. hehehe.

Today (are you ready for this, dear reader?) he tells me he can't make counseling because he has had an ant problem at home since Monday and he just can't leave his mother alone to deal with it, saying he needs to go to Walgreens to get something for it. Wow, that's a first. Using ants as an excuse to weasel his way out of having to talk with me. I wait for the day when someone can just say, "Ya know Katie, I'm just not feeling the counseling vibe today. Another day?" But then again, that wouldn't be as fun to laugh at.

Thanks for the laugh Mr. Antsy.

Relating vs. relationship

Yesterday I got to thinking about various conversations and experiences I have had with people over the past two weeks, which I will explain in further detail in a minute. After contemplating on the thoughts and feelings associated with it all, I was reminded of a book I recently read on intimacy and thought I would include some insightful quotes from it as part of this blog:

"Nobody can know who you are except you, yourself. They know only aspects, and those aspects are very superficial. They know only momentary moods; they cannot penetrate your center. Not even you lover can penetrate to the very core of your being. There you are utterly alone, and only there will you come to know who you are."

"Relationship is a thing: You cling to it. Relating is a flow, a movement, a process. You meet a person, you are loving because you have so much love to give---and the more you give, the more you have. This is relating: people meeting, sharing, moving, a nonpossessive quality, a nondominating quality. Otherwise love becomes a power trip."

"The moment you accept yourself you become open, you become vulnerable, you become receptive. The moment you accept yourself there is no need for any future because there is no need to improve upon anything. Then all is good, then all is good as it is."

Little did I know I would be applying the wisdom found in these words to my own life over the span of the past two weeks, somewhat joyfully and overwhelmingly. I'm not quite sure why, but I have been busier than usual this past weekend and the weekend prior to last, refreshingly. Usually I don't do much besides work, which may account for feeling a certain sense of dullness in my life alot of times. But then something happened: I started going on a few dates here and there, which I guess put me in a more happier and social state of mind because it flowed over into my ability to "relate" with others in my life, whether friends, family, coworkers, and clients.

At first, it took the form of more people emailing me more often. Then, it seemed all sorts of people were calling me out of the blue too! It was like they had this unexplainable desire to talk with me and me with them....a sharing between two people, if you will. And it wasn't just with one or two people; I started feeling this way with EVERYONE! I would find myself having conversations and/or experiences with others where for the first time, I was seeing a different aspect of the particular person...even he/she seeing a certain aspect of me. I started to think about how much more honest and authentic people are when they let go of the 'ego' and open the door to the vulnerability of true intimacy in human "relating" vs. the insecure/controlling confines of "relationship." I'm sure you're dying for some examples. So here are a few:

My dad recently had surgery on his shoulder and has been in alot of pain the past four weeks, which has left him quite dependent on my stepmother and stepsister to take care of him. What is interesting about this is the fact that my dad has always been the kind of person who has to be doing something, can't sit still. Whether it's building a toolshed in the backyard, tinkering with gadgets around the house, or playing with his camera/Photoshop, and/or his work as a cop, the man is virtually always busying himself. And now he can't. Yes, it's sad, but what's more is that I see a whole different side of my father: one of vulnerability and his struggle to get better, to regain his "independent" ways. I find such compassion and authenticity in that, if that makes any sense.

Feeling overwhelmed by lots of unpredictable things lately, I called and talked with my mom early Sunday morning as I soaked in the early morning sun by the lakefront. I wasn't sure if she would understand what was on my mind, thinking she may jump to "mom mode," but felt encouraged by her ability to share her perspective with me "woman to woman"....versus "mother" to "daughter." Relating vs. relationship!

Then there have been revealing conversations I have had with some male friends lately, some of which have included the topic of sex....they telling me experiences they have had, as well as my sharing aspects of myself (talking about my thoughts, feelings, and/or experiences in that regard, past and present). It was just so refreshing to feel a total unguardedness with them and them with me. Relating vs. relationship!

I had another experience recently with a friend whom I had an on again/off again crush on. For the most part, we have been friends for a year now. I knew he wasn't someone I would realistically date and I'm pretty sure he would say/feel the same way in regard to me, mainly just because as much as we are alike in some ways, we couldn't be more different in other ways. Nevertheless, an attraction of caring and loyalty to each other has remained strong. When we first met, we communicated alot through emails, which made it easier for both of us to open up about many different aspects of ourselves. Over time though, it diminished to more superficial contact...until this past weekend. We got a chance to spend more time together than we usually have the chance to do so. We both unexpectedly ended up sharing more vulnerable aspects of ourselves with one another. In the past, this would have scared the hell out of me, but with all of these culminating experiences of the last two weeks, I felt a contentment I cannot quite put into words. It was more of a comfort, a friendly unconditional kind of love...not just with him, though probably more so with him. Relating vs. relationship.

The theme of vulnerability has become a part of my daily life lately, EVEN AT WORK! Yesterday was a perfect example. I had just been talking to my coworker Manuela last week about a few former clients, just casually mentioning "I wonder how 'so and so' is doing these days...." Then around 9am yesterday, one of the very clients I had wondered about calls me to tell me how she's been doing....even thanking me for helping her end treatment successfully. Keep in mind this woman and I terminated our counseling "relationship" early October 2006! A year later and she calls me to "relate" with me. Wow. What really struck me was something she said along the lines of vulnerability, something like "We think we've all got it together/figured out, but we really don't. We have others around to remind us of that....it keeps me on my toes."

Later on in the day yesterday, I also had a client return after an almost 2 month medical absence. I decided to fit her in for a session, mainly just to followup with her on the progress of her medical conditions. Somehow, the topic steered off in a different direction and she began to delve into things from her past, things I didn't know about that she had never brought up before....even after counseling with her for over two years now. Relating vs. relationship....

I had to talk with my boss in his office before I left work (also, yup...yesterday!) regarding a recent conflictual situation I had with one of my clients, trying to figure out the best way to resolve the problem. In the midst of our hourlong conversation, I saw a different side of my boss for the first time. "I see some of myself, of who I used to be, in you," he said. I looked at him, taken aback in surprise. "Really? Why?" I ask. He goes on to say how he used to take things personally if a client didn't do well and how he had to learn to let go of his ego/thinking a client's problem was about him.....to have compassion for what brought them to need our help in the first place. He believes I am a good counselor, but my lack of experience is what makes my job still challenging, keeping me in "learning mode." I definitely have to agree; my lack of experience with all that drug addiction and its addicts entails gives me the deepest of insecurities at times. It doesn't help that it can be a very draining job....offering empathy and concern to those that can be completely selfish and even downright nasty in their social skills/ineptness at (lack of) relating with others. You tell yourself it's par for the course, but when you have 50+ people you're trying to help with such problems, it becomes more difficult to detach yourself mentally and emotionally at times. It's a very "human" (thinking and feeling) business. Weird as it sounds, it's even more weird to live and work it. But again, my boss somehow found an opportunity to "relate" with me vs. talking TO me from a "relationship" (boss vs. employee) standpoint that I found helpful, humbling, and refreshing. I find myself feeling a respect for him now that wasn't there before....because of it.

Relationships (of ANY kind: romantic, platonic, familial, professional, other personal "roles" we have with others,etc.) tend to carry expectation, anxiety, "chains" of one sort or another, metaphorically speaking. It has been my experience, however, that anyone can "relate," regardless of whether there is a relationship or not. And that represents such freedom, beauty, and joy to me. As stated by Osho in his "Intimacy" book, he uses the metaphor of a river to represent the idea of "relating." If that is so, to me, "relationships" are more like faucets and pipes....they may flow, but they have the propensity to get clogged, backed up, or stop working altogether. But a river....a river tends to always be flowing, calm on the inside, sparkling on the outside. And even when something may disturb the still waters now and then, it eventually goes back to that "flow" state. Notice you don't need a plumber to fix a river.

Let the river flow. Relate.

Vacationing at home can be just as fun!

Ever had the experience of feeling like you had the best holiday weekend "vacation" without leaving the city/town in which you reside? Such was the case for me over Labor Day weekend. I'm not sure if it's because I usually always work six days a week, or because I actually had some fun, interesting and exciting things going on. Perhaps a little bit of both.

Saturday was a very busy day, from the moment I got off work until my sleepy head hit the pillow at a time I am usually waking up for work in the morning! There was some drama that happened during the day, but nothing that wouldn't quickly become water under the bridge, so to speak. I was also able to get in a nice jog by the lake mid-afternoon before a blind date I would be meeting up with later on in the evening. In retrospect, I was glad I was able to fit exercise into my day. It definitely helped revitalize me with some much needed energy for what turned out to be a late night out. I didn't want to turn into an old lady and start yawning at 9pm on a Saturday night (especially on a date!), as is sadly usually the case these days. hahaha. We went to a few bars in the Wicker Park area I had not been to before that I really enjoyed. The atmosphere was definitely conducive for a first date kind of environment and the night ended quite pleasantly.

Early Sunday afternoon, I met up with Rajiv and Eddie for brunch and coffee at Clarke's in my neighborhood. True to form, fun restaurant with ongoing people watching potential....maybe a little too much. Eddie and I enjoyed watching a 10 year old girl walking in and outside from the restaurant patio chowing down on what appeared to be a piece of garlic bread or something. We were like, WTF? And then there was the screaming baby at the family of 12 table sitting five feet away from us. Fun times. No really, fun times (right Eddie?). We parted ways shortly thereafter. I went back to my place to relax for awhile. I called a few people back that had called me the day before, as well as made a few calls to people I had not talked to in a long time. I started to crash after that and attempted to take a nap, but no such luck. There's nothing worse than not being able to fall asleep when you're trying really hard to so....futile, in fact.

A few hours later, I headed to Rajiv and Eddie's housewarming party. It was the perfect kind of party because it wasn't too big, nor too small either. Good laughs and conversation seemed to be had by all and MUCH picture taking was involved (even though a majority of photos were later deleted to spare certain individuals, aka Rajiv, from post-party embarrassment! haha).

Though crashing on their couch was fine with me, I did have to contend with one loud crying kitty who was most likely confused that there was another "lady of the house" intruding on her and the other female cat's "territory." hahaha. After about 20 minutes of endless kitty crying, I had to think of a sneaky strategy fast: Must stash the cat (Molly) away in another room asap! So I exited the living room, walked down the hallway to where I see Molly sitting there. We are staring at each other, kitty eye to human eye. I am confident I can outwit her, or at least I hope....as I know I cannot outrun her! I decide the easiest way to go about it is to lure her into their office/computer room. I call out to her in my super sweet voice, that voice I reserve specifically for furry animals and young children. She sashays slowly into the room, as I make my way right past her to close the door. Ha! I did it. Success! Well, for the most part anyway. She then went on to bang the door with what sounded more like her body weight than just her little paws. I felt guilty, but this was quickly replaced with an overriding feeling of exhaustion. Guilt only goes so far. Katie MUST sleep.

I think I only ended up with a few hours of sleep, but better than constant kitty crying without any shut eye. Monday morning, the three of us found a cozy little French restaurant for breakfast in their neighborhood. Rajiv and I went through our photos and posted them online before I headed home.

Knowing I would be too tired to read or do anything that involved much thought, I decided to rent a movie along the way. Unfortunately (or fortunately!), its dull plot instilled an even more lethargic Katie. But hey, at least I finally got alot of sleep after a neverending weekend of fun and surprises.......