The psychology of dreams

Dreams have long fascinated me. I remember in my pre to early teen years, I had this recurring dream about being inside of a building (usually a grocery/convenience store and one time it was a car dealership) and knowing that it was about to get robbed. It wasn't a recurring dream in the sense that it was the same exact dream, but more so the same theme/feelings I felt and similiar subjects/scenarios going on. It still piques my curiosity to this day what those dreams were about. If only I had kept a journal and recorded what was going on with me at the time, maybe I could have truly analyzed what those recurring dreams were all about. (They were the only recurring dreams I have had in my lifetime thus far, hence why I wish I could figure out the meaning, haha)

I've been pondering dreams quite a bit in the past few weeks, particularly after having a dream about a friend of mine. There were actually several random people (including a few other friends) in the dream, but what stood out to me was my friend Scott. In "real" life he has short hair and is pretty much a tshirt and jeans kinda guy. In this particular dream, he had long bushy spiral curled hair that extended down to his waist. He had 60's style/psychedelic spectacles on and looked like a hippie character out of the movie "Almost Famous." In the dream I remember thinking, "Is that Scott?! That guy doesn't look like Scott....but I know it's him because I recognize his face is the same." The only thing that would make that moment more perfect is if I could somehow photograph the 'scene.' How awesome would it be to be able to actually record our dreams (whether as a 'movie' or a photograph)?! Who knows, the way technology is progressing....maybe one day it will be a reality!

I told my friend about this dream and from there a conversation ensued about the unique aspects of dreams. Dreams that later give you those deja vu moments in waking life....dreaming from different angles/perspectives (like flying in dreams, dreaming in first person vs. third person, or dreaming from the perspective of an animal).

Before learning more about the intricacies of dreams in some of my grad school classes, I had not realized just how many possibilities there are for what a dream can actually 'look like.' For instance, some people are more apt to dream in black and white (particularly those serving in the military or people who have to tendency to think in a linear fashion) than color. Then there are those who dream in a language different from their waking life.

It also didn't occur to me until now that not everyone dreams from the first person. I've never seen myself in a dream because I'm either there "participating" in the dream (feeling like the dream is actually 'real life') or it feels like I'm watching scenes from a movie with other people in my dream in which I'm not "there." It makes me wonder how many people dream from the third person. What's that like?

Guy OF my dreams? No, just guys IN my dreams.

I woke up this morning remembering a dream about yet another guy (this is the second night in a row) I know. The first dream (the night before last) was of a slightly sexual nature, about a friend of mine. In the dream, he had wanted to sleep with me and I told him I didn't think it was a good idea because we're friends. Apparently, I changed my mind by the end of the dream. Hahaha. I actually told this friend about my dream yesterday and we had a good laugh. This second dream (last night), however, was just as odd. I only remember bits and pieces, so I'll do my best in writing about it here. I was at some kind of social gathering. Wandering around, I glanced behind me and there was my ex-boyfriend Andrew (some of you readers may recall his name from a few of my much older blog entries, where I was angry that I had run into him on my early morning CTA commute in Chicago a few times in the past year....that's who I'm talking about!).

The way I began talking to him in my dream felt SO real, great even! At first I was cordial, not wanting to ruffle any feathers. But within minutes, I became confrontational in almost a combative way. He acted as if we had been pals for years, it having conveniently 'slipped' his mind how disrespectful he has been. It was funny to hear myself call him an asshole in the dream. He was shocked to hear me say anything that a 'bitch' (aka, a woman who speaks her mind!) might say. Surely Katie is too 'nice' for that. Ha. Anyway, I reminded him of the times he simply ignored me on the bus and didn't even say 'hi,' as if I was a total stranger he didn't even know, date, etc. At first, he got defensive. But then he realized those (and other things) were jackass-like actions. I should have known I was dreaming, as this never would happen in 'real life.' hahaha

I've noticed between these dreams and what's been going on with certain challenges in my life this past week....there is a common thread: speaking my mind, asserting myself. While I have grown more comfortable with honesty and standing up for myself/expressing how I feel about someone or a situation in an appropriate way, it can still provoke anxiety. You don't know what will happen if you choose to really let it all out with what you need to say, hence the anxiety and risk. Yesterday I had to be completely honest with my supervisor about something and while the problem hasn't gone away, I feel better having her know where I'm coming from. What she chooses to do with the revelation is up to her, just as it is with the guys IN my dreams. :)