Book review on "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck" (9/4/17)

This book arrived in my life at just the right moment. Originally, I was a bit hesitant based on the title. I'm glad I didn't give in to judging a book by its cover because this book did not disappoint in the slightest. Once you keep laughing and get past all the blunt F bombs more so in the beginning (which only adds to its humor and charm), "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck worms its way into your psyche if you allow your heart and soul to go down the rabbit hole with Mark Manson.

It's part hero's journey, part helpful suggestions, and part (non-bullshitty type) self-help insights on life drawn from psychology, philosophy, and a mindful stance of "not giving a fuck" (ie, choosing what to give a fuck about and more so what NOT to give a fuck about in the overall scheme of things). It's nothing that I don't already know on some level, but it's his delivery and particularly the way he integrates it all that drew me in. This book is like a wake up call when you need a swift kick in the ass in your life.

I also strongly identified with his life changing event that he mentions towards the end of the book: how a close friend of his suddenly and unexpectedly died and how that then redefined him as "before" and "after." While it can profoundly transform a person, tragic events don't have to happen for us to alter our perceptions, the choices we make, and the way we live. It can happen right now. Mark Manson emphasizes that we all have choices and we will always have problems. A problem free life is boring, unavoidable, and leaves no room for growth. It's about choosing the good problems to have that will lead us on a journey of meaning and fulfillment, even in the midst of pain.

Halfway through the book, I was curious how other readers on Goodreads felt about this book. Not surprisingly, there were people that either loved or hated this book. If you're wanting a book that will make you feel good about your sense of self, your life choices, and let you know that you're an exceptional/special person....well, this isn't the book for you. And this is why I fucking loved it. Refreshing, honest, emotionally intelligent, thought-provoking, and real....this is something severely lacking in society these days. Everyone needs to read this book, especially in the United States of Entitlement. Perhaps the best book I've devoured in less than two days in years.

Read. This. Fucking Book. And if you don't, well....I just don't give a fuck. You're missing out.

Guy OF my dreams? No, just guys IN my dreams.

I woke up this morning remembering a dream about yet another guy (this is the second night in a row) I know. The first dream (the night before last) was of a slightly sexual nature, about a friend of mine. In the dream, he had wanted to sleep with me and I told him I didn't think it was a good idea because we're friends. Apparently, I changed my mind by the end of the dream. Hahaha. I actually told this friend about my dream yesterday and we had a good laugh. This second dream (last night), however, was just as odd. I only remember bits and pieces, so I'll do my best in writing about it here. I was at some kind of social gathering. Wandering around, I glanced behind me and there was my ex-boyfriend Andrew (some of you readers may recall his name from a few of my much older blog entries, where I was angry that I had run into him on my early morning CTA commute in Chicago a few times in the past year....that's who I'm talking about!).

The way I began talking to him in my dream felt SO real, great even! At first I was cordial, not wanting to ruffle any feathers. But within minutes, I became confrontational in almost a combative way. He acted as if we had been pals for years, it having conveniently 'slipped' his mind how disrespectful he has been. It was funny to hear myself call him an asshole in the dream. He was shocked to hear me say anything that a 'bitch' (aka, a woman who speaks her mind!) might say. Surely Katie is too 'nice' for that. Ha. Anyway, I reminded him of the times he simply ignored me on the bus and didn't even say 'hi,' as if I was a total stranger he didn't even know, date, etc. At first, he got defensive. But then he realized those (and other things) were jackass-like actions. I should have known I was dreaming, as this never would happen in 'real life.' hahaha

I've noticed between these dreams and what's been going on with certain challenges in my life this past week....there is a common thread: speaking my mind, asserting myself. While I have grown more comfortable with honesty and standing up for myself/expressing how I feel about someone or a situation in an appropriate way, it can still provoke anxiety. You don't know what will happen if you choose to really let it all out with what you need to say, hence the anxiety and risk. Yesterday I had to be completely honest with my supervisor about something and while the problem hasn't gone away, I feel better having her know where I'm coming from. What she chooses to do with the revelation is up to her, just as it is with the guys IN my dreams. :)