Interview with a high school student

Last week a good friend of mine (a high school English teacher) asked me if I would be willing to help out one of her students by allowing the young girl to interview me for a research paper assignment on a career path she is interested in pursuing (counseling, possibly in drug and alcohol addiction). Never having been interviewed before other than for job interviews, it was an interesting experience. I had much more to say than I would have thought...and I could have said even more. Here's my one hour of professional "fame:"

How long have you been in this career?

I started my first job working with heroin addicts at a methadone clinic in Chicago, IL in June 2005. I worked there until March 2008. I moved to Washington at that time and got a job working at a community mental health agency that provides counseling and case management services to low income individuals who struggle with mental health and/or chemical dependency, which is where I still currently work (I mainly do mental health counseling now, but I have several clients that struggle with addiction as well/are in recovery so I still do some addiction/recovery counseling as part of my work).

What education did you need/have to take?

Well, I'm not sure how to answer this question because it really varies depending on whether you want to pursue something very specialized (such as to specifically do chemical dependency counseling only) or if you aren't sure yet and want to see what's out there. If you are wanting to do work in chemical dependency, more than likely you will need at least a BA degree in social services and most places will require a MA in Substance Abuse/Chemical Dependency. In the state of WA you may be able to complete a certificate program to be a chemical dependency counselor without having to obtain a master's degree. Regardless of whether you decide to pursue a master's degree or a certificate program, you will need to study and pass a licensing exam so that you can do that kind of counseling/apply for jobs in the chemical dependency field. It's important to note too that the requirements can vary depending on the state. Unfortunately, the requirements to practice (nor the educational requirements) are not exactly the same in every state....so if you think you'd like to move out of state one day, keep this in mind for your career choices.

What college did you go to?

I got my BA in Psychology at Texas State University for undergrad and got my MA degree in Marriage and Family Therapy at the Adler School of Professional Psychology in Chicago, IL.

Why did you pick this profession?

I was always a "helper" when I was younger, but there were a few experiences that started steering me more in that direction when I reached high school and then college. I took a psychology class my senior year of high school and was intrigued by the subject matter...what makes people tick, why they do what they do...and how it's tied into how they make sense (or not) of their experience in the world. Then in college I took a sociology class (I think it was called "Love, Romance, and Marriage" or something like that). We had a marriage and family counselor come to the class one day as a speaker to talk to us about her job as a therapist. That's when I started thinking it sounded like something I could see myself doing. I was always trying to figure out the relationship dynamics in my family and if it was possible for people to be happy and healthier in relationships. After I graduated college, I searched online for graduate schools and came across the Adler School. I saw they offered an MFT program and I made my decision. Although I don't do marriage and family counseling with that degree, I love being a therapist. I love being a part of people's journey...helping them with their struggles and being a part of their healing process/personal growth.

What are your hours?

As I work in an agency setting, I work 9am-5pm Monday through Friday.

What would you recommend to another future therapist for their hours to be?

It really just depends on whether you plan on working for yourself (in a private practice) or if you'll be working for someone else (agency/company). There's more flexibility if you have your own private practice, although you may not be guaranteed financial security/stability if you have to find clients on your own.

Do you have vacation time? If so, how much vacation time do you take throughout the year and how do you separate the vacation time?

Yes. I try to space out my vacation time evenly throughout the year, typically every 2-3 months. I try to take some vacation time with holiday time that way I can give myself a longer vacation without using all my 'vacation' days, especially during the winter months. The longer I've been in the profession, the more I'm aware of how long I can go before reaching "burn out" phase...which is why I like to take time off for myself every 2-3 months, usually 4-5 days (including weekends that I already have off).

What is your salary range?

$30,000-40,000

Has your salary increased or decreased through the years?

Increased, although not enough. Good thing I'm not in it for the money. :)

Do you have any physical/emotional stress? If so, how do you deal with the stress so that you don't take none of your patients' problems?

Physical/emotional stress from the job or my own stress? There's always a fluctuating level of both personal and work related stress that I constantly have to be aware of and keep in check. It was very hard when I first started my career as I had to learn how to manage stress and wasn't very balanced about it. I've definitely cultivated a much more balanced approach now that I've been a therapist for over 8 years now. It depends on whether the stress is physical or emotional. If it's physical, I make sure to eat healthy, exercise, consistently get enough sleep, and if I don't feel well most times I will not go to work because I notice I'm not able to be an effective therapist if I'm not well/can't focus on my client due to my own pain/ailments. For awhile I also used to get regular massages (covered by my insurance, so I only had a $20 copay, which was great!) and that helped with both physical and emotional/mental stress. For emotional stress, I ask for help and support if I need it...whether it's talking to or spending time with family or friends or getting extra support with my own therapist. I also remind myself that as much as I enjoy helping people, I cannot make changes for them and can only guide them, give suggestions, feedback,etc. I leave work at work. Rarely do I spend time thinking about work stuff outside of work and rarely do any work paperwork at home. Keeps me sane!

Do you have any coworkers? If so, are they also drug and alcohol counselors too?

Yes, I do have coworkers. There are three other therapists in my office that are part of the counseling "team," but they only do mental health counseling.

How are you evaluated on your job and how you do with your patients?

I have a supervisor that I meet with regularly for 30-60 minutes twice a month. Once a year (around the time of year that I was hired) she completes an evaluation based on my performance for that year, which is largely based on what she observes that I'm doing and/or what I share (about my clients, my workload, issues that come up,etc) during our supervision meetings. I'm evaluated on various aspects of the job....my strengths as well as areas for improvement. As part of the evaluation, goals set for the year are reviewed to see if I've accomplished/completed the listed goals as well as coming up with goals for the new year ahead.

What are the advantages and disadvantages of this job?

This is a great and also hard question to answer. There are alot of complexities to being a therapist, which can be both an advantage and disadvantage....an advantage in that it pushes you out of your comfort zone and can motivate you to always try something new, be creative, and really be present with each unique client that comes to you for help. This can be both scary, anxiety producing, and also interesting. If you like people and like being the person they turn to for help, it can be very rewarding. The cool thing about being a therapist is that I sometimes learn things from my clients and am also constantly pushing myself to grow too.

The disadvantages can be numerous, so you really must have a passion for this kind of work in order for the advantages to outweigh the disadvantages. Disadvantages: Not everyone that comes to you wants help nor is always necessarily ready to be helped/make changes (patience and compassion is essential for the therapist). You can't expect to be appreciated/thanked. The pay isn't great. There's a high risk for burn out and health problems if you don't find balance with self-care and separation between work and personal life. Sometimes you will have things going on in your own life that may make it very hard at times to "give"/help effectively at work and you still have to go to work/do your job even when you have your own problems (again, this is why self-care is a must!). You will see the best in people as well as the worst/dark sides (advantage and disadvantage, depending on what's going on and your perspective on humanity).

What options or other job opportunities has this job opened up for you?

My current job has allowed me to learn and gain significant experience in trauma work as most of my clients have an extensive history of trauma (physical, sexual, and or emotional abuse). I knew almost nothing about mental health disorders (especially PTSD) prior to my current job. My first job working in addictions actually opened up doors as far as helping me get the job I have now as there is an increasing need/demand for chemical dependency counselors. It's easier to find a job if you have experience working in addictions as there aren't enough people trained to do it as there are mental health counselors (at least that was the case when I was looking for a job back in 2008 when I moved to WA).

What are the skills required for this job?

You must be compassionate/have empathy for people, be a great listener, have a thick skin (learn not to take things personally), have healthy professional boundaries, and have a reasonable knowledge/understanding of addiction/mental health (with the help of what you learn in school and doing a clinical internship before you start your first professional job). I'm sure there are more skills but that's all that immediately comes to my mind.

What training did you have to take for job in high school, college, and any other extra thing?

High school and college I took psychology courses to get a basic understanding of psychology and the human mind. Graduate school focused specifically on courses that would help me learn "how to be a therapist." After I got my master's degree I studied and took an exam to get my counseling license. I currently have a license as a mental health counselor ("LMHC) and as part of maintaining my license, I have to complete 34 or 36 credits of continuing education (by attending seminars, workshops,etc) every two years. Chemical dependency counselors have their own licensing requirements. I'm not sure what their requirements are, but you can find them listed on the Washington Department of Health website for details.

One big box on display, for all the world to see

Prior to computers encompassing a big part of our daily living, it was safer and easier to compartmentalize those aspects of your life you wish to be separated or private....a box for your work, a box for your family, a box for your friends, and a box for acquaintances or strangers. It was fairly easy to navigate through the boxes. If you were cool with one box knowing certain things about you, one or more of the other boxes didn't have to know about it. But then technology started infiltrating its way in, bulldozing those safe little boxes and replacing it with one big mingling social playing (or mining?) field. Boundaries started to become vague, sometimes even non-existent.

While you could once be choosy about self-disclosure with people in your various boxes, the mainstream popularity of sites like Google and Facebook opened up a can of worms regarding finding people, being found, and finding information about other people that they don't want out there for the whole world to see. This particularly hits home for me and while I cannot speak for my therapist friends or colleagues in depth, I know they go through similar thoughts and feelings on this issue. For therapists in particular this can be a thorny issue, and it's only getting harder to manage as technology continues to rapidly expand.

Let me back up to the year 2005, where the story begins for me. After graduating with an MA degree in 2005, I started working as an addictions counselor in a small office on the north side of Chicago. While it was an incredibly hard and challenging job, it also had one major perk. At this same time, I started writing blogs on the now seemingly obsolete site MySpace. My work hours were in the wee hours of the morning and there would be stretches of quiet downtime in between doing any work with clients. This allowed me the time, space, and opportunity to write about different things I happened to be thinking about or wanting to express. It was a way for me to share with my friends and also pass the time in a meaningful way. Social networking was in its infancy stages at that time. Clients rarely mentioned the importance or even functional use of computers in their everyday life, most probably didn't even have one. I felt safe with my boxes.

Several blog posts later (in 2007), a friend encouraged me to create my own blog page (this here) that would allow a potential audience of readers beyond my two small boxes of family and friends. I was apprehensive and nervous as I thought about what it would be like for the world wide web to read my thoughts and in a sense "know" me through my writing. It felt scary being perceived as a "writer" and the vulnerabilities that come with such a role, especially since I never considered myself a "real" writer. My boxes still felt pretty intact....looser, but intact. But then Facebook came along. The boxes started to disappear, or rather there was suddenly just one big box. Everyone from the various boxes were now all with me in the one box. And some lurked just right outside the box, mainly ones I never wanted to see or think about outside of work: clients.

I once had clients at my last job (2005) that didn't even have computers and now in 2011 I have clients who will frequently talk about Facebook. We no longer have private lives, but rather only private aspects to very public lives. I am now overly conscious and aware of what I put out there. It's harder to know if and when I should share or not share (Thank goodness for privacy settings that allow me to make myself invisible in some regards!). It used to be if a client asked me a personal question, they wouldn't know if I didn't tell them. I could freely pursue my photography and writing with reckless abandon. Self-expression felt liberating. I miss that feeling. It has been replaced with borderline paranoia, a neurotic feeling that likely won't disappear. I'm pretty sure my friends and family who aren't in the counseling field think I'm nuts on this particular issue, but they don't know/understand the dynamics of therapeutic relationships. They require certain boundaries and limitations you don't have or need in the relationships you have in your personal life...hence the dilemna and anxiety for what you can't control with technology rearing its sometimes ugly head.

Thinking I must not be the only therapist out there impacted by this issue, I curiously decided to do a little online research and see what has been written on the topic. Once again, I appear to be ahead of the curve on noticing this paradigm shift....I couldn't find anything written about it. The closest thing I could find was this: http://www.zurinstitute.com/internet_transparency.pdf. Even then, all this article talks about is the impact on the client not on the therapist's personal life (especially with the therapist's own creativity and self-expression).

Ever since my graduate school days I have had a way of picking topics that have never been written about, at least publicly/no research can be found on it. I'm compelled with curiosity to start talking to more of my therapist friends and colleagues about this now. Maybe I've had it all wrong on what my first book could/should be about. haha. If I were rich and had ample time, I could write books on all the issues or topics that haven't been written about and are incredibly relevant to the mainstream even though they don't know it yet.

Time to buy that lotto ticket and go back to my one big box of public living....

Therapist to therapy?

Every so often (increasingly so lately) I contemplate whether to seek a therapist and start my own process of psychotherapy, especially the more I talk to my my coworkers about it (one of which told me today that every therapist should/would greatly benefit from having their own therapy). The more questions that flood my mind, however, the longer it takes me to make a decision....

I've been in therapy, but not since I've actually become a therapist myself. I've often wondered what it would be like to be on the other side of proverbial couch/chair, wondered mainly if it would feel any different or better than my experiences as the client throughout my childhood and adolescence. I vaguely remember my mom taking me to see a counselor when I was between 8-10 years old. Looking back, I don't remember what I talked about with the counselor....but I do remember feeling comfortable and emotionally safe in the therapist's office.

I don't think I saw another psychotherapist again until I was in my late teens...a hypnotherapist actually. I think that was a one-time visit...hypnosis to help me work through a traumatic experience from my childhood that was still bothering me. I was skeptical at first, but it was quite powerful and helpful.

There was also family counseling in my teens and a few times in my early 20's, with my parents and stepparents. I absolutely loathed the family counseling sessions. I always felt more angry and frustrated after a family therapy session than I ever did before stepping into the therapist's office. I never felt heard or understood. I was the 'scapegoat.' It was like one big bitchfest, going around in circles arguing with no resolution.

I had my share of shitty therapy experiences (ie, family counseling) and yet instead of turning me off to therapy, it steered me in the direction (ie, MA degree in Marriage and Family Counseling) of wanting to help people with the very issue no one could help me (in an intelligent and compassionate way) during those years. I remember one time a therapist even subtly questioned my sexual orientation simply because I wasn't dating anyone. Really?!

I've always been one (from a very early age) to overanalyze, question everything, reflect, stretch myself to learn/grow and aim for self-awareness...to reach my full potential. Fortunately for my nerdy and curious personality, I've become my own therapist in some ways by reading things or pushing beyond my comfort zone with situations that are conducive to awareness....to change things about myself that are keeping me stuck. Most of the time this has been tremendously beneficial to me. With where I'm at in my life right now though, I wonder if I need more than that.

Not too long ago I asked one of my clients how she would know when she was done with therapy (ie, how would she know that she was better/reached her potential and thus not need therapy anymore). Her response? "When I no longer need to ask a question that I wouldn't ask a friend." There was something I found interesting and true about that response. I find myself contemplating this, yet on the other end....do I need therapy because I have questions that I can't ask (and get insights/solutions from about my problem) a friend? Maybe. Do I have a need to divulge some issues that are troubling me on a regular basis that I can't figure out how to change? Absolutely.

I have made positive changes in myself this year of which I'm proud and confident. A part of me wants to go even further with this possibility of therapy, yet another part of me is hesitant. What if no matter how much self-awareness I have and how much effort I put in to change my men/relationship/heartache challenges....and I'm still in the same boat (single and alone) as I am now?

My biggest concern is disappointment....disappointment that perseverance won't bring me any further to a better place than not trying.

Is it better to try therapy with the possibility of no positive tangible results? Or is it better to keep questioning things and doing the best you can with no help from anyone (ie, no therapist) other than your own self-improvement sensibilities?

Hmmm. Decisions, decisions (says the therapist to herself)....

Unless you're a therapist....

Unless you're a therapist, you probably haven't had to think about whether your words or body language convey compassion or a false sense of validation when you don't agree with the individual's faulty perceptions of self, other people, and overall worldview. This is especially difficult when a client talks in a judgmental or derogatory manner about someone's sexual orientation, race, creed, culture,etc. Sometimes all I can do is nod my head to acknowledge that I'm listening, yet I wonder if my nodding gives off the impression I agree. It's one thing to challenge someone's unhealthy perceptions, yet I also cannot impose my values and belief system because I would then be judging that person's process of change. You remind yourself that it's their "stuff" that landed them in your office to begin with, thus it's not about you and convincing them to believe something else....but it still doesn't make it an easy task.

Unless you're a therapist, you may never truly know what it's like to get "too much information." Sure, therapists are generally open and receptive to talking about pretty much anything. But must we really be forced to hear someone say that they can't come in for therapy today because they have a yeast infection or my personal favorite, a "runny bowel?" Yet it's the nature of the beast, something they failed to leave off of the therapist job title when you're getting your clinical training in graduate school.

Unless you're a therapist, you might not understand what it's like to be working with an individual consistently for months or years having the same conversations about the same problem over and over again...until one day *poof*....they suddenly (!) make a connection, have an insight and change sinks in. It's a cool thing to witness, yet may sound bizarre in the context of everyday life and interpersonal relationships.

Unless you're a therapist, you might not be as conscious of the sacred nature of absolute trust someone has in you with their deepest and most intimate vulnerabilities. You might not even know what it's like to see a progression in someone's level of trust in you and how meaningful it feels when someone lets you into their private world even more over time or circumstance.

Unless you're a therapist, you may not understand that given all these challenges and idiosyncrasies of the job, we keep wanting to help and find the intangible rewards rich beyond measure.

"I couldn't do what you do," say most people with a sense of awe when they hear you're a therapist.

Perhaps they are right; they couldn't....which only makes me smile, because I can.